A Hired Hand
by WickedlyContent
Summary: When Angel's wife is brutally murdered in front of their 5year old daughter. A close friend decides to get him the help Angel doesn't want. But could it turn out to be exactly what he needs...
1. Darla's day

The bleak clouds drifting over the Crawford mansion today suited the occupants' mood entirely. Angel watched heartbroken as his little girl, his baby, sat at the window bench morosely tracing the raindrops as they fell across the glass. She wasn't supposed to know this type of grief at five years old; but Angel could blame no one but himself for putting his darling girl in this situation.

Oh wait a second, he could – he could blame Darla.

Just thinking of her made the vein in his neck pulsate. God he was angry! He could feel the rage bubbling up inside of him, just waiting for the chance to take control and let rip – tearing into anyone that crossed his path, regardless of how innocent they were.

The hollowing pain of grief and remorse were there also but the rage was so much easier to handle right now– because Angel knew if he let loose on those emotions, he wouldn't make it through the day. And he needed to make it through the day, if only for Izzie's sake.

The front door slammed again signalling more mourning guests arriving; some family and friends, others probably there just to get a look at the inside of one of the nicest homes in the sleepy town of Sunnydale. Vultures. Probably just wanted to be a witness to the scandal first hand. Tell all their friends when they meet at Starbucks over the weekend, 'Oh yes, I was at the funeral. Terrible tragedy wasn't it, Marge can you pass the sugar dear, and the little girl so young. Probably never get over that one will she, poor little dear.'

Whoever they were, Angel didn't really care as long as they kept their distance from himself and Izzie. They didn't need people like them today.

"Hey man, How ya holdin' up?" Doyle said, interrupting Angel's previous thoughts. Doyle was fully clad in a suit, like all of the other men in attendance – okay the shirt had mustard stains on the collar but its Doyle, shouldn't expect miracles.

At any other day Angel would have laughed at his cousin and best friends serious face – but today all his thoughts centred on his daughter.

"Ugh" he grunted, not yet feeling ready to answer that question. I mean, how do you answer a question like that on a day like this one – he wasn't sure that a simple 'I'm fine' is gonna cut it.

"How's the Munchkin doin'? Has she spoken to anyone yet?"

Both men looked through the crowds of mourning people to the little girl lost in her own world clutching her little teddy bear to her chest and staring outside at the passing world.

"Not a word. Doyle I'm getting worried; she eats barely anything and when she sleeps… she has these nightmares that wake her up screaming and I-I…" Sighing and running a hand frustratedly through his already-rumpled hair; in a weak voice that Doyle had to strain to hear he said,

"I don't know how to help her." Angel looked down at the floor, unable to show even his closest friend the agony he felt at not being able to help his only daughter. "She's so lost and looks so alone, I just ca-…" Angel gave up and slumped into the chair next to him.

Doyle didn't have a clue how to comfort his friend, how do you comfort someone in his situation? Slumping into the chair next to Angel, he lent forward resting his hands on his knees as he asked,

"Have you thought about getting professional help?"

"You mean like a shrink? Yes, but if she's not comfortable talking around loved ones yet I'm not going to put her through some college graduate trying to poke holes in her head. When she starts talking again I'll take her, just to make sure she's okay after…everything." Angel said, staring straight ahead with blank eyes.

"I didn't mean dat type of professional. More in the means of a–a nanny type woman, you know, to look after the Munchkin."

Angel looked up at Doyle with a slightly confused expression, " A nanny? That's a pretty random thing to suggest on a day like today."

Doyle sheepishly glanced about the room to avoid Angels stare, "It's not the first time I thought a nanny would be good for the mite. Even wit' Darla 'round…"

_'I will not speak ill of the dead'_

Doyle reconsidered his words, "All's I'm sayin' is I think it would do Izzie good to have a permanent woman around to be there for her at all times."

When Doyle finished his little speech, he was shocked to look up and see a hurt expression on Angel's face.

"And you don't think I'll be there for her?" Angel voiced quietly.

"O' course you'll be there for 'er" He quickly corrected, "But we both know how much you have to work at dat firm o' yours, doesn't really leave a lot o' time left in the day for Izzie is all I'm sayin'. A nanny could fill in all the blanks and really help the girl"

Angel looked to be considering it for a moment before shaking his head 'no'.

"I don't think so Doyle. Bringing someone new in now when… she needs time to adjust, to get into a routine again. Not to be shoved into new situations with new people straight away. For now, I'll cut down more hours and ask Magdalena to look after Izzie while I'm at work. Just until we sort something more permanent out." He said, nodding his head in affirmation of what he had decided.

"The maid Angel? It's not really her forte to be looking aft-"

"Doyle, enough! I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Magdalena will look after Isabella until I can figure something out at work and that's it. I will not bring a nanny in here until I see fit, and that's the end of it."

"Alright man, jus' makin' a suggestion." Doyle said, backing away with his hands up.

Sighing, Angel warily rubbed his hands over his face, "No, I'm sorry Doyle. It's just… everything is so crazy right now. I feel like, if I don't do everything myself and arrange everything myself, it's all just gonna come crumbling down on me, you know? And that's the last thing I need right now. It's the last thing Isabella needs, so that immediately makes me crazed man. I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

Doyle had never seen his cousin so defeated an it tore him up inside, "Don't worry Angel, little Izzie is gonna be fine. We'll all be there for 'er. You'll see her laughin' and smilin' afore you know it. She'll be fine"

The wariness Angel had been feeling before left him immediately after hearing his cousin's choice of words.

"_Fine_?" Angel stood up, "**FINE**!" People in the room turned around to see their levelheaded businessman boss lose his cool, something that was normally an alien concept for him. Aware of all of the attention he was getting, Angel leaned in to Doyle to whisper in his ear through gritted teeth.

"Doyle, she witnessed her mother being brutally murdered! If you wanna live in denial then that's your choice; but don't try to delude me in to believing for one second that she will ever get past this because you pity me having to live with the guilt of letting my daughter watch her mother get killed!"

Angel glared into Doyle's eyes and tried to catch his breath, deciding he couldn't take the situation anymore her turned on his heel and headed over to the window to see the one person he could stand at this moment – Isabella.

Doyle looked at Angel crouched down beside his daughter at the window, saddened by the desolate image their grief presented and decided he would do something to change it – even if Angel was mad, he didn't care. Doyle was going to get them what they needed even if they didn't want it, 'Whether you like it or not Angel, and that's a promise.'

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At that moment a young woman 2 miles away in Los Angeles named Buffy, stopped what she was doing in the kitchen and wrinkled her brow, confused – she gave up trying to think of what she had forgotten and went back to preparing dinner.


	2. First Impressions

**Authors Note:** Just a quick thanks to those of you who reviewed – I really didn't expect any at all, at least not until I'm a few chapters in so thanks a lot. This is my first fic so like a spaz I didn't know you had to put all this at the top. Anyway – on with the story.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, Don't sue, Much appreciated.

**Rating: **I do love the smut but not sure if there will be much in this story, I'll make a little note in case there is for those of you who would rather skip it.

**Feedback:** God yes – I didn't really understand the obsessive notes for feedback from all the authors. I've only got a few and I'm already addicted – and I'm strangely interested in receiving 'Flames' – seems interesting.

**AN2:** Italics indicate thoughts and dreams.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Buffy stared at the large and ominous house in front of her; no, house was the wrong word – Mansion was the only word that could describe the concrete block whose shadow she was currently cowering in. She felt silly being afraid of a house, more like what the house represented.

Growing up with a mother who constantly struggled to pay the rent with the little money she received from her tiny art gallery, and a father who had abandoned her and loved money more than he did his own daughter had instilled a wariness in her from a young age of those with money. Add that to the little information the agency had told her about this particular family and her spidey-senses were on full alert. Hell, she had only been living in this town for a week and had already heard enough gossip about the cold and heartless businessman and his neglected darling daughter to last a lifetime - and from perfect strangers.

So here's what she knew: the father – one Angelus O'Conner - runs a prestigious and largely successful law firm that kept him away from the home and daughter a lot; the little girl was five years old and had some problems – _'Convenient that said problems were not disclosed. The agency probably knew I'd never take the job if I found out the kid is a little Mike Myers in the making.' _

Also, the mother had recently passed away leaving the girl – Isabella was her name – with no one to care for her. Despite the very real possibility of this child being a handful for Buffy in the near future because of her 'problems', she couldn't help but ache for the little girl who had lost so much at such a young age; and **_then_** to have the one parent she has left abandon her for work – well lets just say Buffy knew first hand how that felt.

'_Suck it up, Summers,' _Buffy thought while shaking off the trance the house had put her in. Squaring her small shoulders, she gripped her handbag and made her way down the long driveway to the front door.

Hesitantly raising her hand, then forcing her hand to knock loudly three times when she realised she was acting stupid, she waited with baited breath.

The door opened slowly to reveal a medium sized man with dark, kind eyes; smiling eyes and lively, if a tad unfashionable clothing. Buffy immediately liked him. He didn't look as intimidating as everyone had said he was, maybe this wouldn't be all that bad. She suddenly felt like things were looking up.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Doyle opened the door to see a beautiful blonde standing timidly in front of him. Doyle's grin widened when he realised this must be the nanny the agency sent over, _'Angel doesn't know what he's in for' _He thought with an inward chuckle. Putting on his most charming smile, he decided to play dumb just for fun and casually leaned against the door.

"What do we have here then lass? Whatever did I do ta deserve the presence o' such a beauty at this early hour; I'll make sure to do it again."

Buffy was suddenly nervous again standing there, "Oh, I thought tha- I'm Buffy… Buffy Summers. Th-the agency sent me… I was told you needed a nanny." She hated stuttering out what should have been an easy response, it made her feel weak and vulnerable; two emotions she hated even more than the stuttering, but she couldn't help it.

Life had taught her fear of people and that only doubled when said people where men, another handy quality she could thank her adolescence for. _'Stop it, Buffy. Don't think about it; that was then. Right now you have a man looking for someone like you and is willing to pay lots of money – don't spaz out and make a bad impression!'_

"I was told I would be expected," She said; glad when her voice reflected strength and confidence.

Seeing that the girl was obviously nervous, Doyle quickly decided to forgo the teasing for a while – of course when she got to know him better all bets were off. He had a familial right to tease any employees, and if his feelings were right, he would be teasing this girl all the time in the very near future.

Easing into his 'charm smile' once again, he tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible. He needed to keep in her good graces if she was going to help him convince Angel, and he knew Angel wasn't going to come along peacefully – the fact that she was a knockout might help though, he mused.

"Come on in, Lass. Couldn't help myself; being the shameless flirt that I am. Please forgive me Milady for such a shocking display and allow me to show you around the place." He said giving a courtly bow and stepping aside for her to enter.

Laughing as she passed by him, Buffy was glad her first impression of the Irish man seemed to be correct. Turning to face him once more,

"No reason to apologise, even if you had the bow would have instantly made me forgive you," she said with a kind smile.

"I'll remember that for the next time I need to apologise"

This time Buffy knew he was teasing her and chuckled, "It would probably save you some back ache if you just didn't do anything worthy of an apology."

"Duly noted, love. An' look at me with all my rudeness, not even introducing meself. I'm Doyle O'Conner." Sticking his hand out for her to shake.

Buffy took his hand while crinkling her brow, "But I thought the clients name was Angelus?"

"It is. I'm his cousin. Angelus is a little…he's busy with a lot of stuff right now. He asked me to take care of this. I'm not sure if anyone told you but his wife was killed recently."

"I heard" Buffy said in a quiet voice, "I'm extremely sorry for your loss."

Doyle could hear the sincerity in her voice and genuinely hoped that his plan would work. It was rare to find someone as genuine as Buffy appeared to be and he knew it would be something his niece and cousin would benefit from.

"Thanks love. I wasn't close to her bu-"

"Doyle, Isabella. I'm home." Angel interrupted while walking through the front door.

"I thought we could go out to lunc-" Stopping mid sentence whilst turning the corner into the hallway to see Doyle with a woman beside him. _'God she's beautiful.'_

Looking at Doyle inquiringly, he silently asked him to explain the woman's presence – and he hoped to god it wasn't because he was showing off his new girlfriend to his best friend because then he may have to beat up his own cousin to steal his girl

'Where did that come from?' 

Blinking, Angel tried to get his bearing on the situation and was about to ask who the girl was, but holy Christ someone could fall into those eyes. He didn't even know if there was a name for all of the colours her eyes were, and those lips, Jesus – how could someone not want to go over there and crush her agai- _'Focus Angel' _With that, he focused his attention on the two people standing before him.

Doyle saw Angel's immediate attraction to the girl standing next to him and hell if that didn't make him happy, _'Maybe Izzie won't be the only one needing some TLC'_ he thought with a wry grin.

"Hello" He nodded to the goddess with what he hoped was an appropriate smile – appropriate to what he didn't know, but he knew if he didn't keep some propriety he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going to her. Turning to Doyle, "Hey, what's going on?"

Buffy wasn't faring any better than Angel at the minute. As soon as he walked around the hallway corner she had been fastened to her place, unable to move.

Looking at him, she realised she was attracted to him. A first for her having always been too afraid to be alone with a man – except for Lindsey of course – let alone initiate someone more intimate.

Staring at this man she didn't get to the fear because blind lust assaulted her as soon as she saw him – how could it not when presented with those chocolate eyes she wanted to bathe in and those arms, wow those arms – she's no expert on arm models or if arm models was even a real job, but she was sure he would be shoe in.

"Angel my man, this here is Buffy Summers."

'_Angel – must be his family's name for him; it suits him perfectly,' _Buffy thought.

Angel noticed Doyle's nervous attitude and was instantly suspicious, "It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Summers" Angel said politely – ever the gentleman.

"Hello" Buffy replied with a smile, surprised she didn't collapse when she heard his smooth as velvet voice.

Angel would have been lost in another spell from the sweet tone of thewoman's voice ifhewasn't stillcurious as to Doyle's attitude, and got the feeling it was connected to this divine creature in front of him.

'_Angelus, your wife dies less than a month ago and you're already drooling over this girl; okay she's the most gorgeous being you've ever seen but…** just stop!**'_

"What brings you two here today then?" He asked kindly.

His inkling of Doyle's nervousness was confirmed at his cousin's deep intake of breath and the slight widening of his eyes.

"Well, you see Angelus" Use of his full name, definite nervous sign Angel thought. "Buffy here is a…well she's from a place wher-…I thought tha-"

"I'm the nanny the agency sent" Buffy explained easily for Doyle, seeing the trouble he appeared to be in trying to spit it out.

Silence engulfed the room. Doyle looked at the floor avoiding Angel's awaiting glare; Angel's face portrayed a silent fury whilst glaring holes into the top of Doyle's head; while Buffy just stood there quietly wondering what she had said that was so wrong to cause this kind of reaction.

'_Even when he's angry he's hot' _Buffy thought embarrassed to be thinking it.

"Doyle, can I talk to you in the office for a minute – **_Now_**!" Angel spat out the last word before turning to face Buffy with an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry Miss Summers but we won't be long, I just need a private word with my cousin." Walking into the office without a backward glance as to whether Doyle had followed or not, Angel went straight over to his desk and waited.

Doyle glanced over at Buffy with a grim smile and followed Angelus, closing the door behind him.

Buffy slumped down in the chair outside the office, wishing that she had a time machine to go to this morning to tell herself to call in sick.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy sat on a couch bigger than her bed in the foyer outside of the office, listening to the yelling within. She was about to get up and leave thinking that no job was worth listening to this crap – no matter how gorgeous the boss was.

'_**Bad Buffy**, naughty thoughts about working for that man with his hard… lean chest… and those arms tha**- Stop it.**'_ Just as her feet hit the floor, Buffy saw something move from the corner of her eye. Looking over to where she saw it. It was a little girl, Isabella most likely, hiding behind a table with a large vase that concealed most of her body except for her little face poking around the side.

Buffy was instantly in love. The little cherub face was the cutest little thing she had ever seen; with long dark hair in wavy curls and large doe eyes; the little girl looked like a life-sized doll.

Leaning her head sideways, Buffy lifted her hand in a wave. Silently lifting her hand in a copycat motion of Buffy, Isabella waved before lifting the teddy bear she was clutching to her chin.

Hearing a door open to her left, Buffy turned away from the enchanting girl to see Doyle standing in the doorway and an angry looking Angel past him leaning against his large desk.

"If you'd like ta come in now Buffy," Doyle said, nodding his head towards the office.

Quickly looking back to where Isabella had been standing only to find her gone, Buffy frowned confused before turning back to Doyle with a smile and standing up.

"Sure." Walking past him, she got a clearer view of Angelus and her smile faltered slightly at the sight of his arms crossed at his chest and his pissed off frown. Not letting it get to her, she moved confidently to the chair Doyle was currently holding out for her and waited for Angelus to stop staring at the wall like it called his mother a name and look at her.

Doyle coughed loudly when it seemed Angelus was to entranced by the plaster to realise her presence, which caused Angelus' head to snap sharply to look at Doyle with a grunt. When he figured out the reason for the cough, his eyes travelled slowly over to Buffy's waiting ones – and when they met, she was lost.


	3. Business Talk

**Authors note:** Just to let you know I have like 15 chapters planned out already for this story so no worries about leaving you guys with nothing. This chapter and chap 2 were originally gonna be 1 but you can see why I cut it in half. Thanks to all of those who reviewed, I love seeing if you guys like how it's going or not.

**Distribution: **If you want it, take it. I would like to know where they are though so an e-mail would be mucho appreciato.

**Feedback:** Yes please. I do love it sooooooooo.

**Spoilers: **A similar line taken from season 5, can you guess which ep?

**AN2:** Just to let you know, my sister is getting married in Ireland in 3 weeks (Day before my B-Day – steal my thunder the bitch, lol) so I might not have time to update with finding shoes to match my **_KILLER_** dress. I'll be gone for a week in Ireland but hope to get out 5 chapters before then for you guys – just cos you're so good with the reviewing.

**Angel's office 10 minutes earlier.**

Doyle closed the door behind him as he entered Angel's office. He stared at the mahogany panels, stalling for time so he could think through all of the things he wanted to say to prove his point in the argument that would be happening shortly. Putting a, somewhat fake, smile on his face he turned around to meet his maker; only for it to drop the minute he saw the cold fury swelling in Angel's eyes.

He had only ever seen Angel angry a couple of times in their entire lifetimes and it never failed to send a shiver down his spine, sending all previous arguments he had lined up in his head to leave immediately and to look straight towards the floor.

Angel was barely concealing his anger; even with his world famous self-control he knew that Doyle could tell he was furious. _'And I have every right to be'_ he thought self-righteously.

"Who the hell do you think you are!" he asked in an as deadly voice as he could muster at the moment, which was hard considering his nails were digging into his palms so hard blood was dripping down them in his anger.

Here was his most trusted friend – his blood relative even – and he goes behind his back when he specifically told him he didn't want a nanny. Yes he was pissed. Hell, it was all he could do to stop himself from going there and smacking him upside the head!

It wasn't so much the fact that he had gone behind his back, it was that he did where it concerned his daughter, and even though Doyle was his most beloved friend and confidant, he wasn't going to let this slide. Not where his daughter was concerned.

Doyle was slightly taken aback by his cousin's cold tone – having seen him use it on others but never expecting to be on the receiving end of it - and if he was honest it scared the shit out of him.

"Angel, come on man, don't act like I jus' shot yer puppy. I was only doin' what I thought was needed." He gulped when he saw no change in his cousin's expression.

"What was needed, hum?" Angel looked at the ceiling wonderingly, as if he were truly considering the question, "Let me think about that. Maybe what you needed to be doing was supporting my decisions at one of the toughest moments of my life instead of backstabbing my by going against my wishes. Maybe you would consider my right to make my own decisions when it comes to what happens in **_MY_** home and with **_MY_** family!"

"Angel, you know I think you're fully capable o' handlin' yer own business, but you an' I both know that when it comes to Izzie, yer blinded by love. She's your daughter man, sometimes ya think more on what **_YOU_** think she needs than what **_SHE_** needs." Doyle yelled back. He knew it needed to be said, but still, this was his cousin, and what he had just said had hurt him deeply.

Angel felt a momentary stab of pain before seizing the rage he felt at Doyle's comment, he'd deal with the pain those remarks had inflicted later when he was alone. Right now he needed to settle this point instead of looking for any truths in his friends statements.

He let all of his rage and pain and fury engulf his next words, uncaring of the after effects it would cause.

"MY daughter, Doyle. That's just it – she's MY child. And whether you, or anyone else up and decides I'm an unfit parent-"

"Angel, that's not what I'm say-"

"YOU CAN REPORT IT TO THE AUTHORITIES." Angel spoke loudly, overriding Doyle's interruption. In a calmer voice, "Until then I expect you to respect my decisions and if you find fault with any of them to keep it to yourself and shut the fuck up. Do it make myself clear?"

Nodding his head yes, Doyle used the only thing he had left. "What should we do about the girl outside then?" He knew he had hit his target when he saw something flash through Angel's eyes before he tampered down whatever he was feeling before being caught out. He knew the moment he saw that girl she meant something big – he just didn't realise she would mean something to the big _GUY_.

Angel's head was swimming with the blonde he had met just moments ago. He was obviously attracted to her, more so than he had ever felt with anyone – _'Who wouldn't be?'_ but did he really want to bring her into his home where he would be in constant contact with her; could his world famous self-control prevent him from making a move he could later regret. And if I did make a move, what would that mean for Izzie – he didn't want her to get attached and have a mother figure just for something to not work out and her have her heart ripped out again.

'_What are you thinking Angel, you just met the girl and you're already thinking relationships. She could be just another vacuous blonde with nothing to offer but her looks and the occasional fuck – like Cordelia.' _

Angel's thoughtful brow and lost gaze gave Doyle the courage to push a little more with secret weapon number 2.

"The lass is a darling; Izzie would love her. She said she had a little sister Izzie's age who's she's practically raised. She knows how to handle herself." He said quietly, hoping Angel was taking in what he was saying instead of just staring at the wall like a zombie.

'_Doyle's one of the best judges of characters I know.'_ He thought, _'Hell, he knew straight away I should stay away from Darla but… uh, no point of going into that now. Plus if she's from an agency she's all checked out and experienced. Maybe… I should at least give her a test run. Just for Izzie's sake, could be good for her to have someone around all the time. This is for Isabella.'_ He told himself firmly.

'_Keep telling yourself that'_ whispered a voice in the back of his head, one he pushed away as soon as he heard it.

Still looking at the wall and not Doyle, "Bring her in."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**Angel's office – Present. **

Angel was so focused on calling himself names for being lead around by his cock that he didn't hear Buffy enter that room and quietly sit down.

When Doyle coughed he was shocked out of his trance and looked at the two other occupants of the room; first Doyle, then Buffy.

Once he looked into her oceanic eyes he was trapped. He'd never seen somebody the way he saw her – it was like he could see everything she was – and he loved it.

Buffy felt the same connection pulsing through her veins. She had never felt something like this before and it scared her.

It was too strong.

She couldn't deal with feeling like this, the feelings too overwhelming, so much so she broke the intense stare between the two and looked at her hands placed demurely in her lap.

Remembering Doyle and that he had just been a witness to the stare-a-thon the two had just taken part in, a blush immediately suffused her face, making her even more embarrassed.

'_God, could this day get any worse,' _she thought, '_Maybe I could piss my pants right here in his leather chair – that would be real classy – Can I have a job… oh, and some wet wipes please. God!'_

"So…" she stated nervously, trying to get the focus back onto the job, "I'm assuming you have some questions about my experience and such. I-I'm happy to answer any questions."

Reminding himself he was meant to speak instead of stare and listen to her soft voice, Angel started to fidget in his seat.

'_Business mode Angel, this is your area. You can handle this.'_

"Um, yea… yes! If you could just… tell me a little bit about yourself. Then we can get onto your past work experiences."

"Sure. Well, as you know my name is Buffy Summers. I'm originally from Los Angeles and only moved here 2 weeks ago actually. I went to UCLA and majored in child psychology while working part time with the agency. I graduated last year top of my class when I went straight on to nanny a young boy up until a month ago. The family didn't need my services anymore so I decided for a fresh start somewhere new… and well, here I am."

"Wait a second, you graduated a year ago…that would make you…" Angel quickly estimated.

"22, 23 in January." Buffy was used to this reaction, many people thinking she was much older than her years. And if she were honest with herself she felt a lot older too.

Angel immediately was on edge at the mention of her age. He had thought her to be at least 25, 26. But she was fresh out of college. Here he was, a 34-year-old man acting like some old lecher preying on some poor young thing. God he was 12 years older that her – if anyone 12 years older than Izzie (when she's a grown woman – don't even think about now) was looking at her the way he was looking at Buffy – they'd be confined to a bed for the rest of their lives.

And that brought him back to his main concern. Did he really want to entrust his beloved daughter to a 22 year old. Granted, she seemed to have a clear head on her shoulders and he had a good feeling about her but you could never be 100 sure about these things.

"22. And your confident you're fully capable of looking after a child that needs special attention. I don't mean to be rude but this is my daughter, I won't entrust her to anyone I feel isn't fully competent."

Angel hadn't thought anything of what his words would sound like to Buffy, they were exactly what he was feeling and he voiced them. This is why he was so surprised to look in her eyes and see a burning fire sparking her whole body aimed at him. Gone was the timid girl and here was the brilliant woman.

"I understand your worry as a parent," Buffy said with barely concealed fury, _'The bastard.'_

"But believe me when I say I am as fully _competent _and _capable_ a nanny as you are going to find. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying it cos it's fact. You want the best for your daughter, well that's me."

Doyle had sat back quietly watching the whole exchange in silence – it was always better to look in these situations and watch those around you to understand the situation – but at Buffy's little outburst he couldn't help but laugh at the shocked look on his cousin's face. The big, bad Angelus had been knocked off his perch by a 5 foot nothing blonde girl – it was just too good.

He liked this girl even more now – _'Looks like kittens got some claws,'_ he thought to himself.

Angel and Buffy both turned towards him, both noticing him for the first time since Buffy had entered the office.

"Doyle, get out of here."

Still chuckling, Doyle left the room, closing the door behind himself.

Buffy found herself feeling nervous without Doyle there. He was kind of a safety net, something other than Angel to focus her attention on. Without him there, there was no polite way for her to avoid eye contact.

So this is where she found herself; once again lost in the eyes of her possible future employer.

Angel had to seriously re-evaluate his expectations of this woman before him due to her little outburst. He wasn't dealing with a little girl; no, this woman had fire – and damn if that didn't make him want her more.

Realising nothing had been said for nearly two long minutes, and reminding himself he is the would-be employer, he needed to say something. But what?

'_How bout apologising to the girl, Jackass. You did just slate her entire professional abilities, might as well say sorry. Damn, I never apologise – for anything; this girl is serious trouble.' _

"Look, Miss Summers…"

"Please, Call me Buffy."

"Buffy… I'm sorry if what I said… if it offended you. I didn't mean to say you weren't… aren't a wonderful nanny. I just tend to be overprotective when it comes to matters concerning my daughter." He admitted in a rushed manner.

"It's fine. I totally understand your concerns, but believe me, you don't have to worry. I know how hard it is for single parents to leave their only child with someone new. Just tell me whatever would make you more comfortable and I'll do it." Realising how that had sounded, Buffy's face turned bright red.

Stuttering, "I meant… wi-with looking after… you know, Isabella. Wh-what makes you feel b-better… with me watching Isabella." She rushed out.

Angel shifted in his seat, ignoring the uncomfortable tightness that has _arisen_ with her last statement; he tried to make her feel comfortable again.

"I get it" he smiled softly at her, "Well, any details you can give me about any previous employment would be great." He said shifting in his seat again.

Grateful that he wasn't focusing on her slight slip of tongue, _'Suddenly wondering where that phrase comes from,' _she listed off her work history for him, making sure to point out good points and shadowing the less than good points. She felt her face flushing in pride when she saw he looked impressed.

"…and that leads me up to this point now."

Angel put down her list of references he had quickly glanced at while she was speaking. He had to admit she seemed perfect; and for someone so young – he couldn't help but show his admiration.

"Well, you may be young, but you accomplishments speak for themselves." He told her with a smile, "I think I should tell you a bit about myself and Izzie."

"I'm the owner of a law firm which keeps me busy most of the time, which is why Doyle thought to call the agency for your services. Isabella recently turned five and was about to go into the first grade before… before her mother passed away."

"I was told. I'm very sorry, I know how hard it is… losing someone you love" Buffy told him, feeling genuine sympathy for the man who was not at all turning out to be the way the agency portrayed him.

"Uh, thank you." He didn't really know how to reply to that, not being able to tell someone he just met that he didn't love his recently deceased wife.

He was happy to see Buffy was also very compassionate as well as beautiful and fiery and intelligent and… all other good adjectives in the dictionary. All of that made the decision for him that she would help Izzie to no end. And maybe him.

"There's something else you should know. Izzie… she hasn't spoken since her mother passed." No need to tell her how crap a father I am by telling her I let Izzie into a position where she saw her mother get murdered. Didn't want to scare the girl away now when he just found her.

'_Whoa, wasn't expecting that one'_ Buffy thought dryly.

"You can see why I'm so reticent about introducing her to new people,"

'_Please don't be scared away, you're perfect… Jesus Angel – stop it! She's 22 for Christ's sake!' _

Buffy was slightly light-headed. She'd dealt with hundreds of children, but one who wouldn't speak – that could be a slight challenge for her. But there wasn't anything Buffy liked more than a challenge.

"Wow, well I can't say I've ever dealt with a child with the same… deal, but I'm sure we'd get along great – even without having to talk about who was wearing what in kindergarten " she smiled.

_'God she's cute when she smiles like that'_ Angel thought while smiling back. 

"So… because she doesn't enrol this year, I wanted her to be learning on her own. Trips to museums and art galleries, operas, that sort of thing. All of your time would be spent tending to her; we have a housekeeper so there's no need for you to worry about cleaning. You would have to cook for Izzie though, which from your experience I would say would be no problem. You would be working 6 days a week, Sunday would be your day off to do with as you please. Is any of that a problem for you?" he asked.

She was dazed for a second, from the way he was speaking…

"Mr O'Connor… Are you offering me the job?"

He couldn't help but smile at her dazed expression, "Please, call me Angel," he mimicked her earlier words with a smirk; which turned into a full blown smile when she started to blush.

"And yes, we would still have to work out all of the creases… but I think this could work quite well."

"Oh God, that is wonderful. That is… I can't tell you how grateful I am." She said standing up excitedly. She couldn't believe it. She'd never gotten a job this easily before, and she this had been her first interview since moving to Sunnydale.

Angel felt his chest well up with pride that he had made her so happy, before telling himself to stop being a dick.

"I'm not sure what the deal is with Nanny's but I'm assuming you would live here – or that's what I got from 'Nanny McPhee.'" He said with a grim expression on his face.

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at the bleak look on Angels face, "I'm guessing Isabella made you sit through it."

"Yeah, all 50 times. Not my best moment I can tell you."

"You must love her very much to do that." She said jokingly.

Angel smiled softley, "She's my life."he said sincerely, and Buffy felt her heart melt just a little bit.

"Soooo… Living arrangements?" Angel gestured for her to shed some light on a subject he knew nothing about.

"Well, living arrangements varies. Depends on the employer." Buffy informed him.

"Well, seeing as you would be working 6 days a week it would be stupid not to have you living here."

'_Yeah Angel, that's the real reason you want her living here – Convenience' _

"You would, of course, have your pick of the rooms. There are 9 to choose from so you won't have a lack of choices."

Buffy couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, she had come here expecting to fight for her job and it was given to her on a platter. Well, she wasn't gonna complain about getting a job easily. That and a hunky boss to stare at – God, this would be hard!

"Well" Angel said interrupting her thoughts, "All that is left to say is – When can you start?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

AN3: Hope you liked my little snip at Cordelia – I do love her, just not with Angel.


	4. Silent Promises

**Authors Note:** Finally done a new chapter, woohoo! Thank you all who reviewed the last chapter, loved reading what you want to happen and if you like it etc (Glad you love the story Jessica). I'm going to Ireland on Tuesday so I'll try and get 1 more chap up for you before I leave it for a week and a half. Keep reading and definitely reviewing. 

**Distribution:** Want it – Take it – Tell me where it's going.

**Feedback:** I want 10 reviews – If I get them, I'll put up another chapter up before I go on holiday (I love the blackmail, lol)

**AN2:** Italics are thoughts

Buffy was currently standing two inches in front of a pink panelled door. She was waiting for her signal from Magdalena that it was okay for her to go in.

When she had arrived that morning for her first day of work, she had been a body jam packed with different emotions. That was of course, up until the point Angel pushed passed her on the doorstep yelling that her 'Instructions' for the day were with Magdalena and to ask her if she had any problems; after that, he slammed his car door and drove off at breakneck speed.

'_So much for friendship in the workplace'_ she said to herself glumly as she had let herself into the front door that Angel had conveniently left open for her – either that or he just forgot to close it. She hoped it was the first one.

She had done what Angel told her; after getting lost four or five times - come on, the place is HUGE! She had found Magdalena; a 4'9 rounded Philippine woman who appeared to be in her mid 60's, in the kitchen preparing breakfast for what looked like the entire population of New Jersey.

Buffy introduced herself – which apparently she must of said something right because the woman kept hugging her and offering to make her whatever food she 'desired' in her fractured English – the woman then led her upstairs, to where she was now standing.

The old woman Buffy instantly liked had left her with a "You here stay, godid?" and quickly entered a the room, closing the door behind her before Buffy got the chance to peek inside at what the room's content could possibly be.

Buffy didn't even have time to analyse how she was feeling at that point because as soon as the door had closed – it seemed like it was opening the next. Lucky for her because if she had had time to analyse her thoughts and then overanalyse her thoughts like she usually did; she would probably question the nervous fluttering that was growing in the pit of her stomach. Whatever was behind that door, she new it was going to change her life for a while.

Magdalena looked up at her – a new experience for Buffy being the 5 foot nothing that she was – and looked at her with a stern expression that didn't seem to match her cherubic face.

"She in dere waiting for you. I be down stair if want me. She special girl – no upset her or Magdalena be mad you. Godid?"

"Got it." Buffy said with a smile, trying to reassure the woman with a calm touch instead of forceful grab.

Seemingly satisfied with Buffy's answer, Magdalena squinted her eyes up at Buffy as if trying to get her to reveal some secret that she's really an axe-murderer or something. When she didn't see anything, her suspicious face melted away to one that suited her much better, her happy, smiley one.

Magdalena was about to leave when she saw the nervous glance Buffy shot at the door while her hands fluttered over her stomach before starting to play with her bracelet in attempts to quell the fidgeting.

Magdalena took hold of her shaky hands within her own and looked into the young woman's eyes.

"You be fiiinnnnneeeee. No scariness in dere… jut scared little gurl. You here help now – no more of dat. You see."

With that, she gave one more pat to Buffy's hands before releasing them and heading down the stairs to get back to her kitchen.

Buffy just looked after the woman in amazement. All of those close to her had said she was impossible to read – she had made it that way for her own survival. How could this woman see her so clearly in such a short amount of time?

'_Doesn't matter right now. Now you've gotta meet the little girl whose life is in your hands. Good Buffy – way to freak yourself out.'_ She thought, with a slightly forced chuckle.

"No time like the present" she whispered to herself, and forced her hand to the doorknob and proceeded to twist.

When she opened the door, she saw all of the furnishing of a little princess.

'_Angel sure didn't skimp out on the best for his daughter'_ she thought wryly, pushing down the image of Angel that had rushed into her head as soon as she thought his name.

Looking around the pink decorated room, with a four-poster canopy bed in the middle; a bookshelf covered in every children story ever published; and a little playhouse castle. She didn't even notice the tiny desk and chair in the corner of the room until she heard the faint whispering of pencil on paper coming from behind her.

She turned so quickly she almost gave herself whiplash for the speed of it.

And there, in the corner of the room with her small back bent over her desk drawing, was Isabella.

"Um, Hello" Buffy said, trying to put as much kindness into her voice so as to not scare the little girl. Magdalena's warning still clear in her head; not about her coming after Buffy if she upset the child; but when she said _'No scariness in there… just scared little girl.' _

That had sent a chill of apprehension about meeting this child, would she be able to help her or would she just add to the girl's troubles when a better nanny would help solve all of them for her. Maybe she was being selfish, thinking about a job instead of what's best for this child. Maybe she should even quit?

'_Yeah Buff, and it's not just because a little girl with serious problems hits a little too close to home, huh.'_ A voice in her head said mockingly.

Isabella stayed hunched over drawing her picture, giving off no signs that she knew someone else was even in the room.

"Hi, my name's Buffy. And you must be Isabella." She tried again.

And again no response.

'_This is gonna be harder than I thought.'_ Buffy was unsure what to do but knew once the first step was made, she'd find a way to deal with things. Now if she could only find a way onto that damn first step!

She decided to tackle this thing from a new angle. I mean, it's not as if Isabella is just gonna suddenly turn to her with a huge smile and say 'Hi Buffy, how ya doing?' is it.

Taking small steps over to Izzie, making sure to go slow and make noise as she went so as not to startle the child when she pops up next to her all 'Here's Johhhhnnnnnyyyyyy.' She wanted to give Isabella plenty of time to move away if she wasn't comfortable.

Reaching the little desk, she crouched down so she was a little below Izzie's eye-line – a non-threatening position. Glad when she didn't run off but continued to draw as if nothing had changed in the last few minutes; Buffy got a little nervous thinking Izzie's condition might be more serious than she had first been led to believe.

Leaving those negatives thoughts behind, she focused her full attention on the beautiful little girl in front of her – only now just realising that this was the child she had seen the other day in the hallway waiting outside of Angel's office; the one she had instantly found adorable.

Smiling at the memory, she turned her head sideways mimicking her actions the last time she had the child's attention, "Hey, remember me from the other day. I was outside your daddy's office."

The scratching of the pencil stopped and the little girls head slowly turned towards her. When their eyes met Buffy couldn't help but gasp in surprise.

Staring right back at her were Angel's eyes; the ones she had found so enchanting and unable to look away from. But instead of the raw animal magnetism she had seen in his eyes – here was more pain than she had ever seen in one person, and all from this tiny little girl.

Buffy couldn't break away from the girl's eyes and the sadness within.

"Izzie, get you buns down here for good brekfart." Magdalena yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

Izzie quickly dropped her pencil and calmly stood up from her desk, shaking Buffy out of her daze, and calmly left the room.

Buffy just stayed in her crouched position by the miniature desk with wide eyes. She had only ever come close to seeing that amount of sadness in a child's eyes once and she was looking in a mirror back then. If Isabella's problems were half as bad as Buffy's were she knew her heart would just break for the little darling who she already felt a connection to.

'_Maybe there was a reason I was sent here. Fate's way of telling me she needs me, you know' _Buffy mused to herself.

She didn't know exactly what she was going to do, but right then and there, she made a silent promise that she would make things better for Isabella.

Whatever problems she had, Buffy was going to change them.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

When Angel walked through his front door that night, the smell of a cooked chicken assaulted his senses taking all of the tension in his body and instantly melting it away.

'_Thank God for Magdalena' _he thought while loosening his tie.

He had started the day off late when his alarm clock didn't go off, meaning he had to rush to work instead of introduce Buffy to her duties like he had planned. He had then spent the day worrying about Isabella and how she was dealing with the appearance of a nanny. Add that to the very stressful case involving one of his best clients as a murder suspect who refused anyone else as his lawyer; pretty mush resulted in a very unhappy Angel, one who's body was tied up in knots.

That and a little frustration he had due to a certain gorgeous blonde who was constantly in the back of his mind preventing him from completing any work successfully. To say today hadn't been very productive would be an understatement.

Walking into the kitchen he came to a stand still. Instead of the usual sight of Magdalena reading a magazine at the island table with a bag of milk and cookies beside her – he was met with the sight of Buffy with her back to him, swaying her hips erotically to the radio she had on as she washed dishes.

He was mesmerised. He wanted to go over there and press himself to her, show her how much he wanted her as she swayed her tight little behind against him. Angel's mouth was dry just thinking about what he could do to her in that position – rubbing against her while his hands were free to travel across her washboard stomach… reaching up to cup her full bre-

"Mr. O'Connor, I didn't hear you come in."

Angel's eyes snapped wide open from the heavy lidded position they had been in to notice a still Buffy, facing him and looking slightly embarrassed.

"Uh," – shaking his head slightly to clear it, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He told her with an apologetic half smile.

Buffy thought she had never seen anything as cute as that little smile. She had been embarrassed that he had caught her little dance but tried to forgot about it and carry on the conversation, only to realise he was already talking.

"… thought Magdalena was cooking." He told her, obviously wondering where his housemaid was when she usually prepared the meals and was waiting for him when he arrived home from work.

"I sent her home" Buffy informed him.

When she saw confusion on his face she tried to explain herself more thoroughly; she didn't want to appear as though she was taking over the house on her first day of employment. A sure fire way to get sacked, she knew.

"I thought that seeing as I could cook and would be staying here anyway… there was no real reason for her to be here as she had cleaned everything already, I thought she'd like to go home to her family." She told him in one big swoop, suddenly afraid of what he would think of her letting the help leave early. Thinking about it now it was pretty rude of her to do so.

'_Damn it, Buffy! Always realising your mistakes after you could do anything to fix them - idiot!'_

Seeing the frown on her pretty face disheartened Angel, which in itself was strange because he usually didn't give a damn about other people's feelings, except Izzie's of course, it's what made him such a good businessman. But the sight of Buffy in distress was something he found himself disliking, and he would do anything to change it.

Even though he was a little mad at her making the decisions where she had no right to do so, he found her unhappiness mattered more to him.

"Don't worry about it Buffy, it's no problem. You were right to send her home."

Glad that he didn't seem mad at her, which for reasons she didn't understand the thought of him mad at her upset her, she turned back to the oven and pulled out the meal she had prepared for him.

"Magdalena said you liked pasta dishes so I-I… I just whipped up a chicken Parmesan Alfredo for you. I hope you like it." She said nervously, placing the food in front of where he had sat down at the table.

Angel was touched at the level of trouble she had gone to for him, and without knowing it, a feeling of contentment settled in his stomach for the first time in a very long while. He hadn't realised how much he had desired this until this moment right now. The simple domesticated scene had him in amazement and left him wishing for more and more. One moment of coming home to a well kept house and a beautiful woman waiting for him and he never wanted it to end.

But it had too.

It was his ultimate dream to have all of this, one he could never achieve with Darla but knew Buffy would fill that role instinctually – she already had. But that was all it could ever be – a dream. In reality, Buffy was a young woman with her whole life ahead of her. He could never burden her with his problems and the problems of his little girl, no matter how much he wanted her – he **_cared_** about her too much already.

He had to keep his distance, be Angel the cold businessman instead of Angel the man. It's the only way to avoid anything from… **_happening._**

Taking a bite of the food in front of him, he was amazed at the wonderful taste. Looking up at Buffy he gave her a slight smile.

'_No harm in giving praise where praise is due,' _Angel thought, justifying the actions he was about to make that would break his promise of acting cold towards her.

"This tastes wonderful Buffy." At her sceptical look he added, "Really, it's the nicest meal I've had in a long while, just don't tell Magdalena. Thank you."

Blushing, she looked away and went back over to finish cleaning the dishes. "Your welcome."

Angel finished his meal in record time and decided there was no time like the present to start this business arrangement.

"How did things go today with Isabella. Any problems?"

Buffy was mildly startled by his sudden question but understood he would be nervous about leaving is daughter with a virtual stranger and would want to know all the details.

"It went… well I wouldn't say great but fine would be an honest answer," She said with a half smile, which instantly dropped when she saw Angel's worried expression.

"Why, what happened, Is Izzie alright?" Angel rushed off the questions one by one while standing up; preparing to run to his daughter's side that instant if he heard one hair on her head was out of place.

"Angel, she's perfectly fine." Buffy told him calmly, sorry for worrying. "I just meant that your daughter seemed content to just stay in her room by herself. Left me with pretty much nothing to do all day. I usually have kids running and screaming all over the house to chase, I'm just not used to a child so well-behaved." She stated with a smile.

Angel couldn't help but sigh in relief, and also a little in sadness. "She used to be like that all the time. The moment I had the front door open from work she'd already be in my arms telling me all about her day. Now… I can't even get a hello from her." Angel slumped dejectedly back into the chair.

Buffy frowned at the sadness she saw within this man, she couldn't help but feel like he didn't deserve it. One moment he was complimenting her like a gentleman and the next he seemed to be in agony over his little girl. It couldn't be healthy for him.

Going over and sitting beside him, she thoughtlessly picked up his hands and held them tenderly in her own, staring him straight in his beautiful chocolate eyes. She wasn't going to think about how gorgeous he was; right now he needed her reassurance that everything was going to be okay – and she was going to give it to him.

"Angel… I know it doesn't feel like it now… but things will get better, I promise you. One day, you'll think nothing extraordinary is gonna happen… but then you'll come home from work, and your little girl will jump in your arms again. It will happen for you, I know it." Buffy said quietly.

Angel had to turn his head away to prevent her from seeing his tear filled eyes while gripping her hands tightly. Buffy's words spoken with so much honesty had reflected the dreams he had wished for from the moment he learned of Darla's death.

The fact that Buffy had used his first name without even realising would of given him a lift of spirit if they hadn't been talking about such a sad topic.

"I wish your right, Buffy. I really do."

Realising how close they now were, with Buffy's hand cradling his, he abruptly stood up, breaking their hands apart in the process.

"I, um, better go. I've set up your room in the east wing. It's three doors down from Isabella's with an en suite bathroom so you should be comfortable. Good night Buffy."

With that he left the kitchen and a very confused Buffy behind and headed for his den.

'_That was strange. One moment he's pouring his heart out, the next he's colder than Alaska. Oh well, must of just been the subject bringing him down. That poor man.'_ Buffy thought mindlessly, getting back to cleaning the rest of the dishes.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Meanwhile, Angel was slumped in his large leather chair sporting a neat scotch in his right hand and calling himself a fool. One second he's promising himself he won't let himself become attached to her, the next he's allowing her to see a side of him he's let few people ever see.

He may not be able to keep that promise, but there was promise he had made while looking into her emerald depths that held so much compassion, and that was that he would never let himself or anyone hurt her ever again.

God he was in trouble, and the worst part was – he didn't even really care.


	5. Understanding Izzie

**Authors note:** Before you all yell at me for not updating when I said I would, let me give you a ton of excuses. Okay, I had planned to put this out the day I went to Ireland but my sisters anti-virus thing expired and it was kinda my fault as I forgot to tell her to update when I saw that little pop-up. Hence, me not being allowed to go on her comp anymore – so unfair! I'm only getting this out cos my other sis is on her honeymoon and I'm sneaking over to hers to use her comp. While she's away I will get a few chaps out but not sure what to do after that but I will definately be continuing this fic. Anyway, enough of my excuses - on with the story.

**Distribution:** Want it, take it, tell me where it's going.

**Feedback:** Yes please. Even though I don't feel like I deserve it for not updating like I said I would, I did love getting double digit reviews. Will make me update faster if you do – quadruple promise.

**Dedication:** For those faithful readers and reviewers, you know who you are. I hope you like it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

It had been a week since Buffy moved into the O'Connor mansion. A week since she was introduced to Isabella, a week since her conversation with Angel, and a week since she had last seen or heard from her sinfully handsome boss.

Looking down at Isabella who was cuddled up beside her on the couch, entranced by the underwater world of 'Finding Nemo,' she couldn't help but smile at the little girl.

Over the course of the week, Buffy had seen Isabella - or Izzie, as she liked to be called - slowly open up to her. As much as she was enjoying the new closeness that was growing between them, she couldn't help but feel slightly frightened by it.

She had only known Izzie for a week and was already growing attached to her in stronger way than just the role of 'the nanny.' One of the first things you learn when coming into this profession is to know your place; you're not the mother – you're the hired help. But in this case it was much harder to see the lines that usually helped Buffy differentiate herself with – in the O'Connor household, all the lines blurred together. Isabella had gone through so much and no longer had a mother, so it was harder for Buffy to keep professional when it was so clear that this darling girl needed someone close to her, someone to love her.

'_Don't even get me started on why the lines are blurry concerning her father. The only professional relationship I can think of in terms of him were if I were a professional call girl – Bad Buffy, stop that!'_

Buffy quickly turned her head away from looking at Izzie, afraid the little girl would notice her blush and immediately figure out her new nanny had the hots for her daddy – as stupid as that thought was. She was also ashamed of herself for being attracted to a man who had just lost his wife – only people with the morals of a sociopath would go after someone in his position she had told herself.

When Buffy had calmed herself down and returned to human colour, she glanced down again at Izzie, thinking about all the things that had occurred this week.

Nothing really happened during her first couple of days staying there, just the usual routine; get Izzie up and dressed; watch her, maybe take her out somewhere special; watch her play in the back yard; dinner, and then read her a bedtime story. Buffy didn't even notice Izzie's no-speaking rule anymore because she was so used to her.

But after a while, Buffy started to notice little things the girl did that just made her heart break when she thought of them. The first time had been in her room when they had been playing with dolls; Buffy had got up and told Isabella that she was going to get a drink. When she had looked back down at her, Izzie's eyes had been so wide with sadness that Buffy almost stumbled back from the force of it. What Isabella had done next had hurt the most because she quickly looked down, trying to hide her trembling bottom lip from Buffy, almost as if she were ashamed of being sad.

Buffy had asked her if she wanted to come with her to get a drink instead of further upsetting the girl, to which Izzie quickly jumped up and stayed by her side for the rest of the day.

There were other things that happened during those first few days, a scared look when Buffy left the room to get something, always looking back to check Buffy was there when they were outside together; all of these things indicated to Buffy that Isabella didn't like being alone, hated it in fact.

The pinnacle moment of the week happened on Thursday afternoon, it was then that Buffy got a real insight into how troubled this child really was.

**Flashback – Thursday Afternoon:**

Buffy was moving around the kitchen, preparing lunch for herself and Izzie. Magdalena had been sick that morning and had taken the day off, leaving Buffy to prepare all meals for the household.

Looking over at Izzie sitting peacefully at the kitchen table in the corner; she hated the way the girl looked so isolated so decided to get her more involved.

"Hey Izzie, why don't you come up here and help make your daddy's dinner with me" Buffy asked with a friendly smile.

Looking at Buffy from her place at the table, she neatly set her pencil besides her drawing and come over hesitantly to stand beside Buffy, awaiting her instructions.

"Why don't you grab that jar of paprika over their from the spice rack for me, it's the orange one." She told the little girl who could only read small words for her age.

"Your wanna be my number one helper, huh? We'll tell your dad what a good job you did when he gets back from work. Maybe force him to give you a raise in allowance cos you worked so hard. Can't have you working slave labour, can we?" Buffy nattered on, having finally gotten used to having to speak for the two of them. Loving it when she saw a little smile curve Izzie's lips at her last comment.

Having climbed up onto the counter to reach the spice rack, Izzie was so focused on jumping down safely she forgot all about the small jar she had been clutching in her hand.

The jar exploded on the floor spreading orange dust all over the tiled floor.

Izzie quickly knelt beside the mess and tried to clean it up with shaking hands. Buffy rushed over as soon as she heard the crash and knelt down beside Izzie, reaching for Izzie's hands to stop her from accidentally picking up some glass and hurting herself. What she wasn't prepared for was Izzie leaping back as if she had been electrocuted by the simple touch.

"Izzie, what's the matter Swee…" Buffy had tried to reach for her hand again only for Izzie to push herself further against the cabinets behind her. She looked like she was trying to disappear into the thing, her hands gripping the wall and staring at Buffy with wide, frightened eyes.

Confused, Buffy slowly edged towards the girl on her knees, oblivious to the glass shards and mess on the floor. Forgoing reaching out again, as that got her absolutely diddley last time she tried it, she decided talking was the way to go. Making sure her voice was as calm and inviting it could be, she spoke quietly, "Izzie honey, did you hurt yourself?"

Izzie made no movement to imply she had even heard the question; she just carried on shaking and gripping on to the cabinets behind her like it was her lifeline.

When Buffy slowly came forward again to try and reach her, Izzie's eyes widened in fear and she started shaking even more, slowly edging along the cabinets to get away from Buffy.

'_God, she's afraid of me. She's afraid of what I'm gonna do cos she smashed that jar. What the hell's happened to this girl to make her so afraid?_ Buffy thought, shocked at this new revelation._ 'Duh Buffy, her mother just passed away and your wondering what's the problem – not gonna be winning any intelligence awards soon are ya.'_

"Sweetheart… its okay that you dropped the jar. I was just trying to see if you were hurt. We can clean up this mess later, okay? I'm not mad" While speaking, Buffy made sure to put as much honesty in her eyes and voice to show Izzie she really wasn't mad, all the while holding out her hand and hoping Izzie would take it.

Buffy didn't really know what happened, but one moment she was looking at a scared little girl and the next, she was flat on her ass cradling a sobbing little girl whose tears were soaking her neck.

Stroking her back, Buffy didn't know what to do.

So she held her. And told her everything was going to be okay.

**Present time:**

Buffy and Izzie were sitting at the breakfast table in the kitchen. 'Finding Nemo' had finished close to half an hour ago and Buffy had since prepared dinner – Magdalena was still fighting the flu – she had just dished up the food and set in the table for three. Angel had said he would be home early tonight so she had made the dish he had enjoyed so much the other night as a kind of treat. A 'If you come home every night early, you'll get this' type of thing.

'_And that's only for Izzie's sake anyway.'_ She thought with a self-righteous voice in her head, trying to block out the other voice that was scoffing in the background.

After 5 long minutes had passed, _'I love Izzie but 5 minutes are an eternity when you're the only one talking,'_ she told Izzie to start eating so her food wouldn't get cold. When Izzie just continued staring to the front hallway, Buffy told her "You daddy will be here in a little while. I spoke to him earlier on the phone and he said he would be home in time for dinner, okay. I'm sure he won't mind us starting without him so dig in." Both picked up forks and began eating.

They were about halfway through their meal when Buffy noticed Izzie looking to the front hall under her lashes every couple of minutes. Putting her fork down, Buffy picked up Izzie's hand and looked her in the eyes, she sighed tiredly as she tryed to think of a way to put 'Your fathers an asshole' into 5year old friendly terms.

"Izzie… sometimes, daddies… they have to do stuff, important stuff, that makes them very busy. That's what happens to your daddy at work. So even though he wants to do other things, like spend time with you, which your daddy wants to do very _**very **_much… this important stuff pops up at work and he has to do it because no one else can. It doesn't mean his work is more important to him than you are; he loves you more than anything in this world Sweetie, it just means that… for a while… he has to be away. But he will always come back to you, Baby, no matter how much important stuff comes up, **_you_** are, and always will be the most important. Okay?"

At seeing the small smile lighting Izzie's face, Buffy gave her hand a squeeze and they both turned back to their dinners.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"'And they lived happily ever after'" Buffy closed one of her favourite storybooks as a child and put it on the bedside table where a little side lamp was currently illuminating the bedroom.

Turning back to tuck Izzie in, Buffy saw a little smile of the girl's face, which stunned her into stillness. It was the first smile she had seen on Izzie's face when putting her to bed. Usually Izzie looked depressed, like she was resigned to her fate of going to sleep. Now she looked happy, peaceful even. It was a beautiful thing to see.

Smiling back, Buffy leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before making her way out of the room.

"Buffy"

Buffy stood ramrod straight, thinking her mind was playing tricks on her. There was no way that the quiet little voi… it couldn't be… could it?

Slowly turning around to face the bed, Buffy half expected to be faced with an already fast asleep Izzie. Instead, she found Izzie looking directly at her with a shy smile on her face. Realising that what was happening was a huge deal and not to be taken lightly, Buffy tried to tread softly.

"Y-yeah, Sweetie?"

"Thank you." Rolling back over, Izzie left a stunned Buffy staring at her back. The last thing she heard before she fell asleep was a quiet, "Your welcome."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy stood with her back against Izzie's door, leaning on it while trying to catch her breath. She couldn't wrap her mid around it.

Izzie had spoken. Izzie had spoken to her! And Angel had missed it.

The last thing is what unsettled her most. Here was a man who seemed obsessed with his daughter's safety, who wouldn't be after their wife's murder. Who spared no expense when it came to lavishing his little girl; but doesn't spend any time with her.

Buffy didn't understand it. More than that she was furious about it. This little girl was dying for someone to love her and the only living blood relative she has continually brushes her off. In the past week, Buffy had seen Angel spend a total of 10 minutes with his daughter and none of that was alone. No wonder the child is frightened of being alone, everyone keeps abandoning her.

'_Well it stops now'_ Buffy thought furiously. _'I don't care what his hang-ups are; she's his daughter and she deserves the best from her father. And I'm going to see to it that she gets it!'_

Hearing the front door open and close, Buffy pushed herself off of the door and stormed downstairs, ready to give Angel what was coming to him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

AN: Soz about the lack of B/A in this chap (okay no BA in this chap), but trust me – there will be lots of it coming up soon! I just had to get all that stuff with Izzie laid down.


	6. Young love never fights, does it?

**Authors note: **I tried to get this out as quickly as possible as a kind of reward for getting so many reviews (Thank you) so here it is. The promised B/A is in here as I said it would be. This and the next chapter were gonna be 1 but I anted to get this out as quickly as possible and writting the other half would of just delayed me a few more days. Will get the next chapter out soon. Hope you like it. _WickedlyContent._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Angel closed the front door to his home and fell back against it with a sigh. Closing his eyes in exhaustion, he allowed himself this small bit of peace. Hell, he thought he deserved it after the crappy day he'd had.

Two of his top clients had left him today and gone to his main rivals Wolfram and Hart. What were their reasons again? Oh yeah, they thought that with all of the _personal dealings_ he'd be handling right now, he'd be less competent with their dealings. Assholes! The fact that they were right just pissed him off even more. He **was** less focused at the office lately because of all the crap that had happened in the last month, who wouldn't be. That didn't mean he still couldn't perform better than those dicks at Wolfram & Hart. Okay, maybe that was a lie and he was acting like a whining bitch, but he was pissed off! Talking crap is mandatory and his right as a human being in the crap mood he was in, it's in the handbook or something.

After hearing he had just lost his best clients; Spike, his partner and co-owner of the company had strolled in – late as usual – and informed him that there was a buzz around the office. Apparently, everyone found their boss' situation a great conversational point around the water cooler.

'I heard that he doesn't sleep anymore, and just drinks brandy all night, thinking of his dead wife and mute kid - Really, I heard it was a speed addiction that kept him awake. Poor man, and now his business is falling apart, all his best clients leaving, mmm, can't make him feel any better.'

Sighing and running an angry hand aggressively through his hair, Angel remembered the smug look on Spike's face when he finally got the chance to tell Angel if he doesn't do something to fix the downward spiral he was sending the company in, there would be serious consequences.

'_Just because he's usually the one that screws up, he's really taking advantage of this situation. Can't say he isn't an opportunist… Bastard'_

To top it all off, he had been in a constant daze all day, adding fuel to the fire that he was slipping in his work life. He would normally be annoyed at his lack of concentration, but the content of his daydreams he had been having left him helpless, an emotion he wasn't used to feeling. Of course the daydreams were all focused around a certain gorgeous blonde, _'A very young gorgeous blonde, you sick pervert!' _Angel yelled at himself. The only way he had managed to get anything done today was to remind himself of how young Buffy actually was – even then it was hard to shake himself out of it. Let's just say that he had spent the day in an **_Uncomfortable position_**, if you get what I mean.

At that moment, the vision he'd been fantasizing about all day floated down the stairs. Actually, the more he looked, the more it looked like stomping. He was about to greet his new favourite nanny, but stopped as soon as he saw the murderous expression on her face. _'Even when she look like she's about to murder me she's gorgeous. Not that I'd complain.'_ Angel thought, trying to ignore the flashes of Buffy standing over him with a whip and dominating expression.

Remembering that Buffy was still actually glaring at him and he had his mouth open from the few guttural sounds he had made when he had tried greeting her, he slowly closed his hanging mouth and gulped. An actual Gulp, he didn't think that had happened since he was 4 years old and standing in front of his mother after eating all of Sunday desert by himself; said desert still being all over his face. Angel was in trouble.

Buffy looked down at Angel from the stairs, with each step she could feel her anger building the more she looked at him. There was a little bit of 'mouth-drying-out-sweaty-palms-sexual-oh-my-god-he's-gorgeous' feelings in there as well but for now, the anger was what she would focus on. _'Remember, he's a bastard. Just think of the little girl up there lost an waiting for her dad to come home.'_ With that in the back of her mind, Buffy pushed down the rest of the stairs to stand at the bottom, at least 5 feet between the two of them. _'No harm in being cautious'_ she thought.

Reminding herself one more time that this was her boss and she couldn't exactly elbow him in the nose, she took a few calming breaths before opening her mouth to speak. But Angel got there first.

"Buffy, hi, how was your day?" Angel asked, trying to start a civil conversation when it was obvious she was pissed about something.

"Good" she answered succinctly.

'_O-kay'_ Angel thought, she must really be pissed cos this is a totally different Buffy to the one I've been living with for the past week, the one that had been in his dreams constantly. _'For some reason, I have a feeling this new Buffy will be playing a feature role in my next dream as well. Oh, maybe their will be two of them' _he thought excitedly, '_Damn it Angel, 12 years younger remember! But God her eyes look beautiful when she's angry – so fiery and passionate, even when she's trying to be cold.'_

"So… um, what did you and Izzie do today?" He asked, somewhat cautiously in a soft voice.

'_Perfect opening.'_ Buffy thought. "Funny you should ask, cos we had a very interesting day. Had the usual morning, dressed, breakfast, you know the routine. Had a nice trip to the park and even a picnic by the lake. We got home just in time to hear the phone ringing and when I picked it up, you told me you would be coming home soon, 'In time for dinner? Definitely,' you said."

Angel felt his stomach drop. God, after he thought his day couldn't get any worse, he finds out he had broken a promise to the two people he didn't wanna break promises too. Looking back up at Buffy, he saw that she wasn't done yet and decided to keep his mouth shut.

"Where were you Angel? Izzie was so excited when I told her you'd be home for dinner. When you didn't show up she was heartbroken. She just sat there waiting for you. Did you just forget?" Buffy felt tired. She wanted Angel to give her a credible excuse for letting his daughter down, but deep down, she knew there wasn't one.

Angel felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. Izzie had been waiting for him. Just the thought of her staring at the door, awaiting his arrival only for him to not show up, the thought of it made his throat clog up.

He'd hurt his little girl.

Buffy was going to continue, really drive her point home, but the expression on Angel's face gave her pause; he looked distraught.

'_Good, he deserves to feel some of the pain Izzie felt today cause of him.' _She thought; but she still felt a little pang at seeing him so obviously upset, especially after the time he'd gone through in the last couple of months. But she couldn't give up; her responsibility was Isabella, and she'd made a promise to help her to the best of her ability, and that's what she was doing now. She needed to get across to him how important spending time with Isabella was, so she went for the jugular.

"She went to bed a while ago… but not before she said thank you to me."

You could've heard a pin drop on carpet at the silence that engulfed the room after Buffy's last statement.

Buffy was starting to feel slightly nervous. She had just told a father that his currently mute daughter had spoken for the first time in two months; it was bound to cause a little tension.

Angel could have collapsed at the exact moment those words left her beautiful mouth. His baby had spoke! His baby had spoke for the first time in two months and it wasn't to him. Why wasn't it him? _'Cos you're never here,'_ a voice whispered in the back of his mind. He couldn't help but feel jealousy that Buffy was the one Isabella talked to first. _'She is **my** daughter, I should be the one she talks to first,' _he thought impetuously. Whatever feelings he was having right now, they were pushed to the side as his first impulse was to run to his daughters side. He just went on instinct and headed as fast as he could to the stairs.

Buffy didn't realise what he was doing until he had reached the second step. She made a grab for his arm and pulled him away from climbing the steps any further. As soon as their skin made contact, both were shocked into stillness. Buffy was the first to break free of the daze they had both been pulled into, ignoring the tingling feeling that was coursing through her body, she tried speaking her thoughts as clearly as possible, which was proving difficult feat given the butterflies currently trying to break out of her stomach.

"Angel, don't go up there and wake her up just to apologise. You can't just go up there and ask for her forgiveness when I don't think you even fully understand what you did."

Angel stared at her small hand resting on his arm and felt the exact same electricity that had shot through Buffy. Her hand felt so right there; the instant Buffy had laid her hand down, Angel felt connected to her, like he could see all she was and vice versa. It was perfect… until she put herself in between him and his daughter, a position most people learned never to get in. The thought of fighting Buffy made Angel want to cringe, but he would not tolerate her thinking she could dictate his relationship with his daughter. That was the only thing he would not stand for.

Slowly moving his arm away, he looked her in the eye and spoke in a calm voice that left every businessman he had met quivering, "I appreciate your concern for my daughter, to be honest I wouldn't want it any other way. Believe me. But remember, the only reason you're here is because I find you capable of taking care of my daughter. You have proven to me that you are good at what you do, but don't forget; I **_am_** your boss. You are under my employ and therefore have no control over the running of this household and most certainly not my relationship with Isabella. I'd appreciate if you accept that."

Angel's words just further incensed Buffy. Here was a man who was clearly in the wrong, and knew it too, and he was trying to shift the blame onto her. _'Uh uh, not gonna happen today, Mister.'_

Shocking Angel when she bounced back from his little speech like it was nothing, when usually it took a lot less to quieten men twice Buffy's side. Buffy carried on the conversation, her voice rising the more agitated she got. "Your right. You are my boss" Angel smiled smugly in triumph, "But **don't** let that fact fool you into a false sense of security that if I see something that affects Izzie in a bad way that I won't step in a say something. My first concern is Isabella. And I don't give a shit if you think I'm trying to run your relationship with your daughter or not; at least if I were running it you'd actually have a relationship!" Buffy muttered the last bit.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean." Angel yelled, losing his famous composure. She'd cursed at him! _'Who the hell does she think she is!'_ He thought indignantly. Ignoring the other part of his mind that whispered the answer, _'A goddess.'_

"It means exactly what it sounded like. I've been here a week and the time you've spent with Izzie has consisted of a goodbye kiss on the way to work! You're never here! Doesn't the fact that you missed your daughter speaking for the first time in months give you any implication of how bad its gotten. In case you've forgotten, you're her father, it's time you started acting like it." Buffy's whole body was trembling from the force she had used while speaking. She was surprised at herself; normlly, she was always the soft-spoken one. Growing up had taught her that speaking out equals bad. But something about Angel just set her at ease; she felt comfortable to say whatever was on her mind and not be afraid of the response.

Angel was stunned. No one had ever spoken to him like that... and he hated it. Hated that she was right.

_'She's not right. She's a jacked up college student who thinks she's seen it all already, I should fire her.'_ He thought. But deep down he knew he would never fire her, mostly because he seemed to have something in his DNA that stopped him from hurting this girl in any way, which firing her would surely do. Plus, Izzie obviously loved her, and had even opened up to her by talking; who knows what it would do if Angel seperated them now at such a crucial point.

Buffy had been there only a week and she had already picked up on things that close friends and family members weren't aware of. Things Angel knew were wrong but couldn't stop himself from repeating again and again.

Despite knowing that Buffy was right, and partially because of it, and because he wasn't ready to face the truth yet. To admit his guilt; he chose to show the emotion he was feeling at that point instead, a safer emotion... anger.

"How **dare** you. You come in here and insult me by implying I'm not doing the best by my daughter as a father. Who the hell gave you the righ..."

"Oh I dare very much" Buffy intterupted, "And seeing as I know you forget things easily I'll remind you that_** you**_ gave me the right when you entrusted me with your daughters well-bing. For God's sake Angel, she's already lost her mother, she can't ake losing her father too."

Angel couldn't speak. The only thing he could do was turn his back on Buffy, and run.

Buffy watched as Angel stumbled from the room, heading towards his library. But not before she had looked into his eyes. His dark chocolate orbs had sprung open like he'd been slugged in the gut with a 2 by 4 at her last statement. He had just stared at her, his eyes reflecting so much pain, more than she had ever seen on a persons face. _'Except in the mirror at home, but that doesn't count.'_ God she hated seeing anyone look that hurt. _'Especially him.'_ And what's worse, **_she_** had caused it.

She had to fix it.

Running a hand through her hair, Buffy slowly walked towards the library to face her fate.


	7. Light in his Darkness

**Authors note: **I'm Baccckkkkk! I didn't realise I hadn't updated in so long. I'm truly sorry for leaving you on a cliff hanger for ages. Promise, I won't ever leave it that long again. I haven't been able to get online in a long time but I've got the internet on my laptop now so will be able to update more frequently. As a celebration of getting hooked up I'll post a really long chapter after this one for you guys. Hope you like the chappie :D

**Distribution: **Not mine even though I wish it was.

**Feedback: **Hope you're not too pissed at me to review. I really want to get 20 reviews for 1 chapter - The closest I got was 18. Come on people - I'll take abuse even if I get 20.

**AN: **I've had loads of time to write out a few chapters while I've been waiting to get the internet, so I'll make the deal that as soon as I get 20 reviews I'll post the next chapter - even if it's like an hour after posting the 1st. Come on people - you can do it, I have faith in you ;)

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Angel was shrouded in darkness, sitting hunched over in his plush leather chair beside the empty fireplace. In his hands he held a full glass of scotch which was resting on his knees while staring into its bottomless depths; on the mahogany side table next to him sat the already half-empty bottle, the top left off. _'Kinda pointless in the long run'_ he thought.

Looking up from the glass to stare at the non-existent flames with bloodshot eyes, he tried to lose himself in the granite stone, anything to keep his thoughts away from what he was currently thinking. But his mind seemed to be on the same rotating belt, the kind you get at baggage reclaim at the airport; you see the same bags going round and round and then randomly another one comes out that grabs your attention, but its still not the one you want. That was what was going on in Angel's head, he was thinking everything he didn't want to be; mainly, all of the accusations Buffy had threw at him.

'_But she was right.' _He thought sourly. _'I don't deserve anything I have. I know for sure I don't deserve Izzie; all I'm doing is hurting her - God, I hurt my little girl.' _His jaw trembled just thinking that last statement and he had to tiredly rub his face and the rest of his head in his palm to compose himself. Taking a deep breath through his nose, he lifted his head and continued to stare at the imaginary fire. It was comforting. It reflected how he felt… empty.

'_If only I was empty, then I wouldn't have to feel this constant… pain.'_

Shaking his head as if to fling all thoughts from him and squeezing his eyes closed as tightly as he could, he downed the rest of the scotch, revelling in the burning sensation as it passed down his throat - a feeling other than the pain in his heart.

Quickly pouring himself another glass of scotch, he sat unaware of Buffy, who had been watching him from the open doorway for the last 30 minutes.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy had been standing there, watching Angel as he drowned away his pain in expensive whiskey, for close to half an hour. She had been a woman on a mission when walking to the library, ready to face and confront any obstacles along the way; that was until she had entered the room. When she had walked through the arched doorway, something about Angel's hunched posture gave her pause. He looked so… defeated. To see such a powerful man looking so vulnerable… well, it was a first, that was for sure.

She told herself she would give him 5 more minutes to think some more before going over and sorting things out - just for the purpose of smooth future business situations, of course - but somehow, the time had stretched out before her until she couldn't remember why she was standing there in the first place.

So she stood there. And she watched Angel sitting alone in his misery.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Angel threw another shot down and let it slide down his throat. He felt his eyes drooping and forced them open again. He knew he had drunk too much; the sheet of fur on his eyeballs told him so, that and he had nearly fallen out of his chair more times than he could count. Slumped forward in a way that only the truly intoxicated can achieve, he glanced to the side to see the now empty scotch bottle. Letting his drained glass drop to the floor, he moved back into his chair and let his eyes fall shut,

"Ow, dammit!"

Angel shook awake. _'What the…' _Quickly looking around the room for the source, he soon spotted it. Buffy was standing in the open archway bending over and holding her knee. Angel was too fuzzy to try and figure out why his dream girl was standing outside of his personal sanctum in pain so just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"B-Buffy?"

'_Oh crap' _Buffy had been trying to inconspicuously leave Angel to himself when his eyes closed; voyeurism while someone was drinking was one thing, totally different game when it crosses over to sleep stalking, and that's something Buffy was just not willing to do. She had nearly gotten away but walked straight into a table. Hearing Angel call her name, she sighed and took a deep breath before turning to face something she didn't really want to face right now. _'Especially when I need to go make an appointment for a leg amputation.' _She huffed mentally.

"Yeah, its me. I w-was just… just coming to say goodnight." Buffy mentally kicked herself for wimping out.

Angel just stared at her; he couldn't help but look at her and think that any chances he had had were shot to hell after their not so little fight. He thought she was coming to yell at him some more, he should of known she wasn't the type of person to do that, she was too kind hearted. "Oh… Goodnight Buffy" He spoke quietly, turning back in his chair to stare at the fireplace.

'_Just do it Buffy.' _

"A-actually Angel, I didn't just come in to say goodnight. I wanted to talk some more about Izzie."

When Angel didn't turn back around, just continued staring at that damn fireplace she got pissed and walked straight up to Angel with the intention of getting in his face and giving him a piece of her mind. But she again found herself rooted to her spot when she reached the side of his chair. She only had a side profile view of Angel's face, but again his expression of emptiness gave her pause.

"A-Angel?" She asked quietly. He didn't even flinch, just sat there. _'This is gonna be harder than I thought if he carries on being Mr Congeniality 2006' _

Taking a deep breath she decided to just speak her piece and leave; at least then he'd know what was going on with her if she acted a little cold to him in the future.

"I wante-…no, I **_needed_** to apologise to you" At this she finally got a response from Angel when his head snapped to the side to stare at her with those chocolate eyes of his; she had to look at away to be able to carry on speaking. "Don't get me wrong, I meant every word I said" she added quickly, "But I shouldn't have said it the way I did. And I'm sorry." She told him in a soft voice.

Angel turned back to stare ahead of him, thinking that Buffy had finished apologising to him. _'And why the hell is she apologising to **him**, he deserved every harsh word she had thrown at him.'_ He heard Buffy speaking and realised she hadn't finished telling him everything on her mind, but he still kept staring at the exact same spot.

"With that out of the way I wanted to let you know, no matter how sorry I am or what you've gone through recently; I will always tell you what I think. Izzie is my priority. And I will always make sure she gets everything she needs, not just because that's my job but because she deserves it. I know you've lost your wife, and I understand how bad it feels to loose someone you love more than any-"

"Stop!" Buffy almost recoiled at the abrupt command that came from the previously silent Angel. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little nervous. She had just basically told him she didn't give a crap his wife's dead and that he should suck it up - okay, not so much in those words, but the meaning was still there. Despite her brave front, Buffy didn't want to loose this job - for lots of different reasons. Not knowing what to do in the silence Angel had created; Buffy waited.

'_But he has been quite for a long time, maybe I should say something - but what?' _But she didn't have to answer that question because Angel spoke.

"Don't apologise." Angel said shocking Buffy. "Don't apologise to me for Darla" he spoke so quietly that Buffy had to strain to hear him. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Angel fought to continue, and when he did, his voice was husky and strained. "She has nothing to do with this. Believe me if I could lay blame on her doorstep I wouldn't hesitate, but the only one I can blame here… is me. I'm the reason Izzie is hurting right now; and what's worse is… I-I knew what I was doing… and I didn't stop it."

Buffy was stunned. She had known since the moment she first met him that Angel was a powerful man, someone who prided themselves on being strong and emotionless. And here he was shaking with a depth of regret and sorrow Buffy never thought to see in a man; blaming everything on himself. She could only stare at him with wide eyes as he broke down every fact she thought of men. And why was he talking about his late wife that way? If she didn't know any better she'd say that was bitterness in his voice - was it not the loving relationship the media had presented it as?

Oblivious to Buffy's internal monologue, Angel himself was facing one of his very own. He wanted to explain to Buffy - wanted to let her know that he didn't push his daughter away because he was a heartless bastard - not just that at least. But can I tell her. _'What will she think of me.'_ Deciding that Buffy had the right to know, he pushed aside what he was feeling and how worried he was that it would ruin her image of him, _'Can't be any worse than my own right now,' _he thought glumly.

"Buffy… hurting my daughter is the last thing that I ever planned to do… sh-she's my life." He looked up at her imploringly, begging her to understand. "That's why I couldn't… I couldn't be around her… couldn't look at her, knowing what I've done. Knowing that I'm the reason she's in pain… That I failed her." Angel deflated after his last statement, just sinking into his chair, not even having the strength to see his daughter's nanny's reaction.

Buffy was still a little fuzzy on the details, but she finally understood Angel's recent distance. He thought he had been a negligent father and couldn't stand to look at his daughter, the most important person in the world to him, to see the person he thought he failed.

'_Screw that' _Buffy thought frowning.

"Maybe you did" Buffy said in a calming voice, "Maybe you did fail your daughter. Okay, get over it. The only question you have to ask yourself now is do you carry on hurting her, or actually try to make things better." With that, Buffy walked calmly out of the den leaving Angel alone with just his thoughts.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Angel sat in his chair long after Buffy had vacated the room. He could of gotten up and retrieved that bottle of gin placed behind his first edition 'Lord of the Rings,' but he didn't. He just sat, and thought. To say tonight had turned out more eventful than he had first thought would be and understatement. His mind was racing with all of things Buffy had said to him. All of the possibilities she presented.

Could he face Izzie?

Would she resent his recent absence and shun him?

Would Buffy rub it in his face if he did?

Would Buffy see him in a different way than just an employe- _'Don't really need to think of that answer right now, Angel.'_

All of these questions were running through his head and for none of them was there a definitive yes/no answer. But he was starting to think Buffy was right, he was already failing as a father, trying to make things better would only be a plus. He could possibly win back his daughters trust, which lately he had felt was waning, and if Buffy saw him in a more attractive light - who was he to argue.

For the first time that night, a real smile lightened Angel's face.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

_I know it was pretty short, but the next one's like double this chap - so get reviewing people!_

_Special thanks to:_

_ Nina who gave me some great suggestions that I loved - not sure yet if they'll fit in but I'll try._

_ Razzledazzling for a really sweet review - I'm glad you like the story so much_

_ Chosen-one91 - Sorry bout the confusion in the last chapter - I meant B/A interaction not Bangel lovin'. Sorry if I got your hopes up - there will be definite action between the two but not just yet. You've been reviewing from the beginning of this fic so I know your anxious for the B/A ness to start, but please be patient with me - gotta build the angst, lol._

_ MouseyBrown - Hasn't it always been awesome then? Lol :D only joking._

_And to everyone else who reviewed:_

_Night Goddess PinkyBlueIce Kaylea Caroline Anna42hmr WriterChick_

_Michebabyblue Mshellfire Tay Bridget Arica, Princess._

_Sorry if I left your name out but know I love ya anyway. _


	8. Beginnings

**Authors note:** Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I was well chuffed I got 20 (22 even) – even though I did kind of force you guys to do it. it was still cool. Just want you people to know I got another job and will be working 7 day weeks – no days off at all – will be knackered; so I might not be able to update as quickly but I will try my best to get a chapter o8ut at least every like week and a half. Anyway, hope you like this chapter – and review people!

**Declaimer:** Am I the only person who wonders what happens if you don't do these? Like if I say I own it ALL – what will happen. Screw it – its all MINE, lol.

XxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy sat in the edge of the pink duvet cover as she smiled down at the occupant of the bed she was sitting on. She had noticed today that Izzie seemed to be a little… off. She hadn't really expected a full 180 in the little girls personality, but she had expected to see little changes from the girl after last nights break through. I mean, come on - She had **spoken** to her! That had to mean something. But there had been nothing. Nada. Zippo. It had been like the first day all over again which made Buffy feel crappy that the progress she thought they made had disappeared to nothing.

Sighing, she looked down again to see Izzie frowning and off in her own little world; looking as if she was trying to figure out the root of 4340. Stroking the top of her head to get the girls attention as well as to lend comfort, Buffy leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "You know, if you worry so much you're gonna need botox by the time your ten," she joked.

Izzie just sighed and managed to look even more depressed. Growing really worried now, Buffy lifted up Izzie's chin with her index finder, "Hey, seriously now, what's the matter Sweetie?"

Opening her mouth as if to speak, and then thinking better of it, Izzie shrugged off Buffy's hand and rolled onto her side so her back was facing Buffy.

Frowning at the little girls actions, Buffy gently touched her shoulder and rolled her over to face her. Seeing her eyes welled up with tears sent Buffy into overdrive, _'What the hell has made her so upset since yesterday,' _Buffy thought.

Staring straight into the tear-filled orbs that were an exact replica of her fathers, Buffy saw something in them beside deep sadness, she saw a little bit of guilt.

'_Okay, so she's done something and she feels bad. Alright, this I can deal with - naughty kids are easier than depressed ones. Especially seeing as I used to be one… shouldn't be too hard to channel my inner wild child,' _she thought.

"Okay, how about I ask you a question and you just shake your head yes or no; does that sound alright?"

Izzie thought it over and then shook her head a fraction in agreement.

Leaning back onto the bed to get into a comfortable position, she looked thoughtfully up to the ceiling and tapped her chin in a pondering motion. "Hmmm, what could it be? What could it be" Buffy said in a singsong voice. "Did yoouuu… eat all of my favourite cookies and leave none for me?" Buffy asked jokingly indignant. Izzie shook her head no, still looking down to avoid Buffy's eye line.

"Is it…"

"I snuck out of bed and heard you and daddy" Izzie quickly interrupted; if it was possible, she sunk even further into her bed, till only the top of her head was visible from beneath the princess duvet covers. Her muffled voice could be heard faintly through the blanket she was hiding beneath, "You were yelling."

'_Oh crap! Is she mad at me; God, I don't want her to be… or worse, is she afraid of me after seeing my little outburst. I did basically attack her father, she has a right to be mad. She's already been through so much, I don't want her to be afraid around me.'_ Buffy was really worried about what Izzie was thinking about her right at this moment, _'Might as well face it before her opinions of me have time to _**really**_ sink.' _

Slowly pulling the covers down to reveal Izzie's face, she gave the little girl the strongest smile she could manage, which she would admit herself was a pretty pathetic attempt; and tried to of think of something to say to a five year old in a way that would explain her actions. But she didn't get the chance to because Izzie started rambling that very moment, "Please don't be mad at me Buffy," Izzie rushed out, trying to stop her lip from trembling at the thought of her new best friend being mad at her. "I know I'm bad cos I listened, but I got scared when I heard you shouting and thought somebody was hurting you s-so-so I came downstairs and saw you and daddy fighting an-and… now you're gonna leave… leave me." she whispered the last part, not wanting Buffy to see how weak she was for being a baby and crying; her mom always hated it when she was weak and crying and punished her for weeks after, she didn't want Buffy to hate her like her mother had.

Buffy was astonished. Izzie had been withdrawn and reverted back into the terrified child she had first met today because she thought she had done something so bad that Buffy would leave her job… leave her? She didn't understand. Okay, so she eavesdropped… so. Big deal. She had only done it to make sure Buffy herself was safe, which in itself was the sweetest thing ever. Who had been so severe to this child that the consequences of a simple thing like eavesdropping would put this amount of fear into her. She couldn't see Angel telling his daughter no to anything let alone reprimanding her for her behaviour; despite his recent actions, anyone could see she was his world… so who? Was Darla a harsh mother?

'_Don't think like that about the dead, Buffy. Give the woman the benefit of the doubt, she could have been Martha frigging Stuart as a mother. Anyway, not the point; focus on the now, you can figure all the details later.' _

Looking at Izzie, who was desperately trying to stop crying, to be brave, she felt her heart break for her for about the zillionth time since starting this job. "Hey, hey, hey." She gathered the little girl into her arms and finally felt her let go and start to cry on her shoulder, her little body shaking with the force of her sobs and soaking Buffy's shoulder with her tears. Rubbing her back to sooth her until she quietened, Buffy lightly pulled her away but made sure to keep a hold of her shoulders to comfort her and looked deep into her eyes to show she was sincere and meant everything she was saying. "You have no reason to be sad or afraid Sweetheart." Buffy told her, gently raising her hand to cup her chubby little cheek and brushing away her tears with her thumb. "You did **nothing** wrong. You just got scared and wanted to make sure I was alright, which I think was a very brave thing to do. I'm not mad at you and I promise you I'm not leaving you, not until you want me to anyway." She said with a smile.

Buffy was almost knocked full off the bed when Izzie scrambled onto her lap and wrapped her arms around Buffy's neck in the tightest hug she could manage. She was so happy Buffy wasn't angry with her. She didn't know what she would do if the one person who stayed with her all day hated her. Buffy had been so nice to her, she couldn't think of a anyone who had ever spent as much time with her; playing with her and looking after her, Izzie had loved every minute spent with the older girl and didn't want any of that to go away because of her.

"Izzie, I have to talk to you about what you heard, okay."

Pulling away from Buffy and wiping her eyes, Izzie gave Buffy her full attention as well as her most serious face. Buffy smothered her grin at seeing the cutest little face she had ever seen, and explain the argument she had had with Angel to his five year old daughter, _'Oh Boy.' _She thought.

"Sometimes, when grown ups talk about things that are important… about things that really matter - well, they get really excited talking about it. They fight because… It's only because they care about it so much… only because **we** care about **you** so much, that we were talking so loudly the other night. Your daddy and me may fight about things in the future because - because we want what's best for you. But you have to know that we will always be here for you no matter what. We may not agree on things all the time, but that won't make us care about you any less, and it won't make us not like each other either cos we both know we just want the best for you. You can't get rid of us that easy. Okay?" Buffy said with a smile.

"Otay" Izzie said with a sweet smile and a nod of her head.

"Its been a long day for you" Buffy said seeing the little girl yawn tiredly and brushing the hair off Izzie's forehead lovingly. "How about you climb under the covers and go to sleep for me okay honey. Good girl." Buffy tucked her in, and kissed her on the forehead; switching off the bedside lamp before getting up to leave the room. She couldn't help but smile at the cute picture the little girl made snuggled under her blanket. Just as she was about to close the door, she heard Izzie call out her name.

"Yeah sweetie" she asked as she turned back around.

"I love you, Buffy." She whispered quietly.

Buffy felt her eyes moisten and her breath catch in her throat at the little girls words.

"I love you too, Sweetie. Go to sleep now okay."

"Otay."

With that, Buffy slowly closed the door, with a light heart and a smile on her face.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Angel fell back against the front door of the foyer with an exhausted sigh. He barely had the energy to keep hold of his briefcase; but somehow managed to push off of the door and place his briefcase in its designated space beside the foyer side table. It had been a long day and all he was dreaming of was his barker lounger and a cool beer; and someone serving it to him would be nice - possible costume changes involved. He was a sick, sick man and he knew it well.

All day, the blonde vision had plagued his thoughts; he didn't have to say which blonde; making work he usually completed in under an hour, a days labour. He didn't know what to do; this had never happened to him before. Even in high school when all his friends were going through first loves trials and tribulations, coming in heartbroken after the weekend because the love of their lives had dumped them; he had never found anyone who could stir that level of emotion in him. All the girls in his social circle and any he had ever met for that matter, he thought, were vacuous socialites; eager to marry the first millionaire that crossed their paths. They were more concerned with botox than babies but wouldn't dismiss the merit of having a child to solidify their own lifestyles -his relationship with Darla had shown him that much.

But then in walks Buffy. She was obviously the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but one not concerned at all by physical appearance, but by what the person themselves was like inside; which only made her more beautiful in Angel's eyes. She's brave and selfless; caring more about others well being than her own - she proved that by risking her job when she went up against him for Izzie's sake. The way she interacted with Izzie, granted he hadn't seen much of it due to his own short sightedness; but he knew that his daughter already adored her new Nanny in a way she had never shown for her mother. And he knew that Buffy would be the perfect role model for his little girl, she seemed to care for Izzie almost as if she were her daughter. He had never met anyone like her; when she smiled at him, a real, genuine smile, the rest of the world fell away… And that **body! **_'Okay, do not need to go there. Can you say jailbait Angel.' _

Right at that moment, the image from his dreams walked down the stairs; and all thoughts of his quiet retreat vanished from his mind.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy walked down the upstairs landing in a daze, letting her feet carry her without really thinking of where she was going. Her eyes were unfocused as she thought back to the event that had just occurred in Izzie's room. She felt so overwhelmed. This was the first time she had ever let herself get so attached to a charge, "But how could I not get attached in this case," she questioned her imaginary condemners.

Izzie was the sweetest little thing she had ever met, and so desperate for the love and attention she had clearly been starved of. She reminded Buffy of one of those wounded puppies at the pound who had been abused, the ones who just stared at you as you passed by with their big puppy dog eyes, waiting to be hurt again. The situation was also made worse by the fact Izzie had just lost her mother; of course she would be searching for another maternal bond at such a crucial age. And she had found one in Buffy - Magdalena provided the indulgent grandmother role leaving a gap that needed to be filled by a young woman - the only problem was that the young woman in question wanted to fill that maternal bond just as badly as Izzie wanted her to. It went against everything she had been taught in her degree and by the agency but she couldn't help but feel a connection to the child; when she looked into those sad eyes she saw herself as a little girl. Only this little girl she could help; and it seemed like she was. She - Buffy Summers - had been the one Izzie had finally talked. That had to mean something, like… she was meant to be here.

Despite all of the feelings Buffy was getting about her meant to be here, there was still a lot about the situation that confused her when it came to Izzie. It was obvious she was crying out for love and affection, but Angel seemed to love his daughter more than anything. She knew he had changed since the death of his wife and had spent barely any time with his daughter, but she knew that that was just due to his false sense of guilt concerning Izzie; she knew as soon as he got over those crazy notions in his mind he would be fine and once again be able to express the love he had for his little girl. The love that was so clear to see in the numerous photos plastered around the house of father and daughter; they were two peas in a pod and obviously adored each other. She had no doubt that Izzie was secure in the love her father had for her. But then why was she so openly craving affection? The only answer Buffy could conclude was… Darla.

All of the things she had learned about the woman just weren't adding up. She had always read in the media that Darla O'Connor was a loving wife and devoted mother, the epitome of what every rich socialite should be; never thinking to question what she read because frankly, she didn't care that much, Buffy never considered the papers to be fabricating anything. To be honest, when she had learned of this job, she hadn't even recognised the name O'Connor to be that of the multi-millionaire family or of the famous socialite. When she figured out the connection though, it became clear that what little things she could see from her short time here; what had been written in the media wasn't the reality that Angel and Izzie had experienced.

'_I can't believe I'm going all judgemental on a dead girl - could I sink any lower?' _Buffy thought.

But there were just too many factors for her to ignore. For instance, Angel saying he would love to blame Darla for his recent actions? What was that about? It wasn't exactly the words of a grief-stricken widow now was it. She couldn't say much about the relationship between Izzie and Darla due to that fact that Izzie hadn't mentioned Darla once during her time here; but that could be put down to the child not knowing how to talk about her recently deceased mother to her new Nanny. But somehow Buffy didn't think that was the case.

She had examined most of the house in her wonderings of the estate and had found exactly three photos of Darla in the entire house. A large portrait of the (grudgingly) admittedly beautiful woman hung in the room as the fancy dinning room - a room she had learned from Magdalena was never used. She had found herself in that dinning room looking up to the portrait more times than she was willing to admit; she found herself comparing herself to the face in the painting on different occasions - and this only proved to her that she didn't have a chance in hell of being with the elusive Mr. O'Connor. His choice in a wife only showed Buffy that everything he was interested in a woman - she was not. He had married a gorgeous socialite born into the same world he grew up in, experienced in all things upper-class; while she had grew up… very differently - lets just say it wasn't all roses 24/7. What could she offer him. And the answer to that was what saddened her most of all because the truth was, she could offer him… nothing.

'And on that happy note…' Buffy thought dryly, she tried to remember what she had been mentally discussing before her little tangent. 'Oh yeah, the photos.'

The other two pictures were more revealing than the portrait could ever be because it showed Darla with others. One photo was of Angel and his new wife at their wedding; and the other showed Darla holding the cutest little newborn ever - which didn't take much figuring out that it was Izzie.

In the wedding photo… Buffy didn't know; there was just something off with the way Angel looked at his new wife. Instead of seeing the normal love and ecstatic emotions you'd expect on a wedding day; yes he smiled and gave the off the appearance of happiness, but his eyes showed something else. A hard edge that he couldn't get rid of, almost like he was… forcing himself to do something, i.e. marrying Darla. Of course that was just wishful thinking on Buffy's part, but a small part of her saw something Angel's was hiding in the pictu- _'And this has to stop now before I hit bunny boiler on the obsessed scale.' _Buffy thought. Realising she had been wandering around on autopilot and missed the turning for the stairs, she turned back and took a left that would lead her to the staircase.

The other photo was the one Buffy found the most revealing, the one with Darla holding the newborn Izzie. What should have been a portrayal of a new mother marvelled by their first child, all Buffy could see was an act. The light in Darla's face stopped at her smile; nothing appeared to be in her eyes except a… coldness that sent chills down Buffy's spine. If that coldness had been a constant in Darla's eyes and the life she had led with her daughter, no wonder Izzie was so gun-shy of everything.

'_Okay this is where I jump off this little thought train. I don't know anything as fact so I should really stop speculating on a dead woman; have some decorum, you know. Hey, maybe I could ask-'_

"A-Angel" Buffy stopped where she was on the stairs and looked down on her employer.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

When Buffy said his name in that breathy whisper that always set his blood on boil, Angel was snapped out of his staring stupor. Blinking his eyes so as to focus more, Angel nodded his head to his daughters Nanny, trying to appear nonchalant about the fact she was gliding down the stairs towards him like some Greek goddess straight out of his fantasy's.

"Hello Buffy." He said, hoping there was nothing unusual in his voice that would give him away.

"Hi." After a brief pause, "How was work?"

"Good," He replied a little too quickly, realising it he mumbled again quietly "Good."

The air was thick with tension; both were thinking of last night and were unsure of what they could possibly say to each other now; and the sexual tension flying between them was pretty intense too. The silence stretched before them both making the situation while the pair grew more uncomfortable.

"How was your day?" Angel asked quickly, more to break the silence that had surrounded them than curiosity about her day's events.

Buffy was thankful for Angel ending the tension filled silence but now faced the dilemma of what to tell him she had done all day. 'Do I tell him about Izzie? She is his daughter; okay he's been a jackass lately but he does seem genuinely sorry. I would want to know if my daughter had spoken after being a self-imposed mute for a couple of months. But then I don't want to break Izzie's trust when it already seems so fragile a thing.'

Deciding it was best to keep quiet for now, she would stay to the safer topics of the days events.

"Good too. Nothing much happened; we went to the store for grocery shopping and then just watched a DVD before dinner. I think I could actually get into the Guinness book of Records for how many times I've watched 'Cinderella' now." Buffy said with a laugh; okay it was a bit forced but hello, can you say tension!

Angel smiled at that, "Yeah, it's always been Izzie's favourite. I could probably take you on in a competition of who's seen it more.' He grinned at her.

Feeling the tension ease, Buffy let herself give him a real smile, feeling more relaxed in his company; not yet knowing what the effects her smile was having on her employer and certain parts of said employer. Angel quickly took off his jacket and held it as inconspicuously as he could over his waist, praying to God that Buffy hadn't seen how easy it was for him to get aroused by her. And God it had been easy! He had always been a virile man, never having any problems controlling that part of him around attractive woman, even when he was a young teen he had always been in control; and here comes a young woman fresh out of college making his body do and feel things it had never experienced before. He needed help. Just as he was willing himself to think of a naked Margaret Thatcher, which was actually working, he heard Buffy's tinkling laughter and was right back to square one.

"Yeah, I guess you probably could." She said smiling. Only then just noticing how strained Angel looked, she realised he must be exhausted after a long day's work and was waiting for her to leave so he could sit down and relax. God, she felt like a jackass. Hurriedly, she told him his dinner was in the oven and she would leave him in peace.

Angel noticed her rushed behaviour and hoped he hadn't scared her off by accident. His little - or not so little as he'd been told - problem had gone as soon as she made a move to leave and he found himself desperately searching for excuses for her to stay. The further away she got the more desperate Angel felt until he just yelled out,

"Stay."

'_Stay! Jesus you're a fucking idiot' _he thought to himself. _'Why not just jump her from behind next time.'_ He thought with self-loathing and embarrassment coursing through his veins.

Buffy had stopped moving the moment the first sound left Angel's mouth. She hadn't really wanted to leave, finding his presence comforting and enjoying what was turning out to be their first conversation, but she had thought that his look of discomfort was directed at her and that he wanted her to leave. To say the least, she was shocked when he yelled out for her to stay; she had obviously misread the situation and it turns out Angel was enjoying her company as much as she was his. That thought sent a rush of heat through her body and up to her face as she looked over to Angel who was looking at her imploringly, but trying not to look desperate. A little smile lit her face.

"Okay" she said quietly. "I'll just get your dinner out of the oven for you." Buffy made a move to go past him and into the kitchen; when she did, Angel quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist, they looked down to their joint hands, both had felt the shock of electric as their hands had joined at were struck dumb by it, neither wanting to let go.

Angel was the first to recover, stuttering out "No. You're off duty now; you don't have to do anything. I'm perfectly able to get my own dinner." Seeing a blush rise to Buffy's cheeks, he realised she thought she had offended him so he quickly rushed on to rectify it, "Just… keep me company?"

Buffy looked into Angel's eyes and saw just how much he wanted her company; and how could she refuse him after looking into those molten depths.

Smiling her reply, they walked into the kitchen together.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy and Angel were sitting on the huge living room couch, laying on the couch would be a more accurate definition of what they were doing on the couch, facing each other. They were leaning against the opposite arm rests with a large space between them but there was still an air of intimacy in the room.

Buffy had kept her word and kept Angel company while he ate his dinner; and surprisingly, it wasn't as awkward as she had expected it to be. Yes there had been silences, but they were comfortable ones untainted by self-conscious thoughts. She had never felt that comfortable around a guy before, and for some reason she knew it was because of Angel, like… like he was the only guy she could ever be _that_ comfortable around, as stupid as that thought was.

Angel was thinking the exact same thing as Buffy at that moment. Usually, around woman, he felt like he had to play the part - be Angelus O'Connor. But with Buffy, he didn't need to do that; didn't even feel the need to be the harsh businessman he was famed for being. With her, he could be the man few people got to see; he could be himself in a way he had only been able to share with Izzie and Doyle. He didn't have to be afraid of what she would think of that man because she liked that man, he could tell by the way she had suggested them watching a DVD after his dinner; she didn't want the night to end anymore than he did.

He had learned so much about her that it was hard not to be infatuated. She had shyly smiled as she told him animatedly about her friends back home showing him just how much she loved and valued her friends, especially a man named Giles. He found out that she had always wanted to work with kids since she herself was a little girl. Everything she had said and even the way she said it left him fascinated; he had never met anyone like her and he loved it.

Without realising it, his hopes of something with Buffy happening had spun out of control. But for tonight, he decided he didn't care. Tomorrow he would be the adult and remember their age difference and all of the things that prevented him from being with Buffy; but that was tomorrow, and he would allow himself one night of his dream before putting it firmly back in the box labelled 'Never.'

Buffy was daydreaming as much as Angel. Before tonight, Angel had appeared to be the hard businessman with a soft side for his daughter and cousin. But now… she had seen him in a whole new light. They had laughed together and told each other things about themselves, and now Buffy felt like he had shared himself with her in a way that he had let few people see; which made her feel extremely privileged that a man like Angel considered her someone worthy to share himself with. She felt… grateful. And somehow, she had let her hopes get the best of her and started to imagine that, maybe… Angel could like someone like her.

'_Don't be stupid, Buffy. He's just being a nice boss. He's way out of you're league.' _She told herself. _'But… it doesn't seem like he cares about all that stuff. And he does seem genuinely interested in everything I've told him.' _She countered herself in her mind. Buffy was so lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed Angel speaking to her.

"…parents like?"

Buffy shook her head, "I'm sorry Angel, what did you say?" she asked.

Angel smiled and couldn't help himself when he said petulantly, "Fine, don't listen to me. I am paying you, the least you could do is pretend to pay attention." With that he pouted in an exact replica of Izzie's earlier that night and Buffy found it just as adorable as she had then. Angel loved that he could be and act this freely with her.

Laughing, she affectionately tapped Angel's leg with her foot, sending a shock through both of them, "Oh come on, I'd need double what you pay me to put up with that." she said jokingly, making Angel mock scowl which just made her laugh more. Angel was also loving the fact that he could make her laugh.

"Really, what did you ask?" Buffy said.

"If you must know, I asked what your parents are like?" He said, still acting slightly petulant and pouty. But this time Buffy didn't laugh, she didn't do much of anything except look slightly pale as the colour drained from her face.

"M-My parents?" she stuttered out. "Th-They're… you know, p-parent-like." she finally got out, looking away from him.

Sitting up from his slouched position with concern etched all over his face, Angel reached out and touched Buffy lightly on the arm, his concern rising up a notch or two when she flinched at his touch. Taking his hand away as to not scare, he asked gently, "Buffy, are you alright?"

Shaking her head to clear her mind, she looked over to Angel who looked really concerned for her. She instantly felt bad for making him worried and reached over for his hand that had a moment ago, rested on her arm. "I'm sorry Angel; it's just been a long day and I'm really tired. More so than I guess I realized. I didn't mean to act all crazy girl. I'm sorry."

Angel was a little suspicious, he had never seen someone tired react like that and it scared him that it happened to Buffy. One minute they had been joking around, the next she acted like a comatose patient; he didn't get it, all he had done was ask about her parents. Had he said something that upset her; he didn't think he did but he could be callous sometimes, not realising when he hurt someone - even when it was the last thing he wanted to do. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again. _'No harm in being sure,' _he told himself.

"I'm fine; I'm sorry I worried you." she told him, and she really was sorry.

Angel looked at her with concern etched into his frown brow, "If you're that tired, maybe you should go to bed. It is pretty late and I know for a fact Izzie won't let you sleep a minute passed dawn." he said, with an affectionate smile for his daughter which Buffy returned.

"I know." Sitting up from the couch and stretching, she looked over her shoulder at Angel who was looking at the blank TV screen, the DVD having long since finished. "You should get to bed soon too you know. You'll be exhausted for work tomorrow." Buffy stated.

Angel was touched by Buffy's show of simple concern; no one had ever worried about him before apart from his cousin; it meant a lot that Buffy seemed interested in his well being and he wanted her to know it. Show that it meant a lot to him. So he decided to show it in the simplest way. "Thank you." He said it quietly, but the meaning carried through.

Buffy stopped her stretching and looked back at Angel; she had felt, and could see the sincerity in his eyes and it went straight to her heart. It looked like Izzie wasn't the only one who had been neglected of love and affection.

Seeing Angel turning a shade uncomfortable at his own words, she decided to help him out. "Your welcome" she said as sincerely as she could put into words, "But I'm just worried about who will pay my wages if you can't work," she said with an impish grin.

Angel smiled and jumped up to his feet, offering Buffy a hand and pulling her to hers also, smiling into her eyes, "We can't have that now can we." He told her, and held his arm out for her to lead the way in a gentlemanly fashion.

As they started walking up the stairs, Buffy took a deep breath and started speaking.

"I didn't answer your question did I." Without waiting for a response from Angel, Buffy started speaking. "I don't really remember my dad except his name is Hank Summers; he ran out before I had a chance to make any memories with him; but my mom is Joyce Summers. She's… well, one of the strongest people I know. She moved away from the town she grew up in when my dad left and started her own gallery from scratch. We were always really close." Buffy sort of drifted off with a little smile on her face and Angel could tell she was thinking of good times with her mother. He couldn't believe the nerve of her father though. He hated any man who abandoned his children and if Buffy's mother was anything like her daughter, Angel couldn't see how he could run out on her. Add that to what must have been the cutest child in Buffy - the man must be insane.

Buffy had carried on speaking and Angel shook away his thoughts to focus on what she was saying.

"Anyway, when I was 11, mom got remarried and they're still going strong today. Me and mom have kind of… well drifted apart over the years, but I guess that's only natural." She said, looking up at Angel for what appeared to be the confirmation Buffy needed to have drifted away from her mother. Angel just nodded.

By this time they had reached the top of the stairs. Both turned and faced each other, Angel smiling down on Buffy, and Buffy looking slightly nervously up at Angel.

"Thank you for telling me." Angel told her gently.

"There wasn't much to tell," But while she said this, it didn't seem to reach her eyes, showing that it was a bigger deal to her than she was making it out to be.

"Well, I guess it's good night if I'm gonna be writing those pay checks for you." Angel told her with a smirk that made Buffy almost melt into the floor.

"Yeah… goodnight." With that, Buffy turned and walked away in the direction of her bedroom.

"Buffy." Angel called out.

Turning back around and looking at Angel inquiringly, she asked "Yeah." Quietly, as to not wake up Izzie like they had last night.

"You never mentioned, what's your stepfathers name?"

"Oh" Buffy looked slightly shocked that he would want to know, but assumed he was just curious as she had said both her father and mother's name.

"Ethan" She told him, "Ethan Rayne."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Well, what did you think? Honest opinions people. I wanted to speed up the B/Aness for no apparent reason, cough - Chosen-one91 - cough :D Hope you liked and please review. And thanks who helped me make it to 20 reviews – you guys RULE :D

I'll try and get the next chapter out as quickly as possible. Hey, does anyone else love Johnny Cash's version of 'Hurt' - its honestly the only song that can give me chills (apart from the Broadway show Wicked) Am listening to it now and I love it. Walk the line rocked as well.


	9. Breakfast Revealations

Authors Note: Hey guys. Before you beat me, remember last time I told you I got two jobs? Well they suck to high heavens cos I work 7 days a week and haven't had a day off for roughly two months now. The only way I've done this is by stealing the fax machine paper on my lunch hour and scribbling in the stock room. To say the past month sucked would be and understatement so I would love if you guys reviewed - it helps me get through the day :-) I am sorry for making you wait sooo long cos I hate it myself so I'll try and update sooner - anyway - on with the story

Dedicated too: Everyone who likes this story enough to review and can't look up the name right now but roughly the last person who reviewed – your review really meant a lot so I stepped it up to finish this chapter – hope you like.

Angel walked into the kitchen and was stopped dead in his tracks by the sight that greeted him. There was Buffy at the stove busily preparing pancakes while laughing and singing along to the radio, dancing around like a little elf. And sitting at the table with her back towards him was his daughter, the little girl who for the past month he had avoided because he couldn't stand to look into her heartbroken face and not get any response from her; here she was with possibly one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen on her face. Her eyes were shining as she laughed along with Buffy, and Angel had to hold onto the wall to keep his reserve from crumbling; drawing in a deep breath sharply when he forgot he needed too.

He fell against the door jamb with a thud, causing Buffy to flip around - spatula raised in warning; only lowering it when she saw it was Angel. She gave him a small, shy smile which managed to catch Angel's breath, proving to him that last night had broken down the previous barriers and formed a kinship with the woman he secretly adored.

'_But that's not what matters right now.' _He told himself harshly, shaking himself out of it.

Looking back to the kitchen table, he saw Izzie looking directly at him; and the moment he did he couldn't look away. The eyes that had reflected so much pain in the past couple of months held a spark in them; this wasn't the same scared little girl who had trembled in his arms so hard when he went to collect her from the hospital after learning his wife was dead, shaking so hard that he thought she would hurt herself; the little girl who had been dwarfed in those atrociously uncomfortable orange plastic chairs at the hospital, her silent tears streaming down her bowed face making him drop to his knees in heartbreak. This was not the same little girl who collapsed in his arms the moment she saw him, nor the one who hadn't spoken a word since - this was **his** little girl; the one he had raised practically by himself since she was a baby. The daughter who kissed him goodbye every morning and ran into his arms as soon as he got home at night. The daughter who drew on the walls and called it homey decorations. The daughter he loved more than anything… and the daughter who he had avoided for the past few weeks.

He knew that at first, he hadn't intended to use Buffy as an excuse to pawn his daughter off on someone else, but that was what she had become in the end. With her here, his presence wasn't the one solely needed anymore. Buffy saw to it that Izzie was well looked after leaving him time to wallow in self pity and brood, ignoring his baby girl the entire time. He was ashamed to admit that it was probably likely that if Buffy hadn't yelled at him about his actions, he would of carried on the same path, leading him further away from his daughter. He only hoped that he hadn't left it too long that his absence had caused irreparable damage in his relationship with Izzie. He prayed to God it hadn't.

His thoughts broke off when Izzie abruptly looked away from him and back to Buffy, searching for reassurance or some kind of comfort in the tension that had settled in the room since her fathers entrance. That sent a pang of jealousy straight through Angel's chest, _'Why is she looking at Buffy, I'm her father.' _He thought indignantly, ignoring the itch in the back of his head telling him she had every right to believe in Buffy more than him after what he'd put her through. He should have been happy that she was running straight out of the room at the sight of him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy's breath had caught in her throat the second she had felt Angel enter the room behind her, and oh boy did she feel him. After the time they had spent together last night, she couldn't help but feel her temperature rise at the mere sight of him; she had felt so peaceful during their time together that she had been relaxed enough to speak about things she could only previously talk about with close friends. She didn't know what it was, but with him, she felt… safe.

Looking into his eyes now and seeing the obvious fear he was feeling made her want to run over to him and hold him until there was nothing but calm inside him.

'_DON'T think about things inside things!' _She thought quickly, turning back to the oven to shield her blushing cheeks from anyone who might see them.

Buffy smiled encouragingly at Izzie before turning towards him and flashing him a dazzling smile; he was so dazed by the sight of her face lit up with the most beatific shine he didn't even notice her turn away to continue cleaning the dishes in the sink. _'God, if all I had to do was turn up to breakfast to get that smile, I'd have been lining up at the kitchen door since dawn.' _

Realising he hadn't yet faced the challenge of the morning, he turned his attention back to Izzie, who was currently swirling her cereal around with her spoon to avoid his eye line.

Buffy made sure to keep facing the stove, her back to the father and daughter; hoping that it gave the air of privacy she hoped to give. She had contemplated briefly leaving the room when Angel had started his apology and tried to think up some excuse that would take her away from the 'precious picture' moment that was about to take place; but ultimately, that's why she chose to stay. Izzie had looked at her with frightened wide eyes as soon as Angel had entered the room and had made the decision for her; she wouldn't abandon the girl when he was so frightened. She had no doubt that the situation was uncomfortable for Angel, and that she was probably only making it worse, but she had told him her first priority would always be Izzie and she had absolutely no intention of going back on her word.

'_Anyway, he deserves to squirm a little after avoiding her for so _long' Buffy thought with an evil little grin.

Angel sighed at the struggle that seemed to lay ahead of him, and slowly walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Izzie was still avoiding his gaze so he ducked down to catch her eyes, giving her a little smile when he did. His heart sank in his chest when she quickly looked away.

"Hiya Sweetheart," Angel spoke with a hesitant smile on is face.

From her vantage point at the stove, Buffy found herself daydreaming about how different each of Angel's smiles were. A closed mouth shy smile at his daughter sent warm chills to Buffy's heart, while that little half smile she had seen plenty of last night should be damn right illegal! She thought she'd die of combustion when she first caught a glimpse of it last night.

Realising that there was an actual conversation going on behind her she should be eavesdropping on for future information, she snapped out of her daydream in order to focus on the matter at hand.

Taking a deep breath, Angel decided there was no time like the present and to take the plunge; "Izzie honey… I wanted to talk to you about some things, I-is that okay?"

After a second, he got the nod he was searching for, albeit hesitant, but a nod none the less.

"You've probably been noticing lately, well… that I - I haven't been around much recently. Not as much as I always used to." Seeing Izzie's eyes sink further down and a sad expression come over her face made Angel want to run screaming from the room and throw himself off a cliff. _'But that's what got you into this mess in the first place, idiot. Running away scared when things got too tough to deal with and abandoning Izzie. I'm not gonna do that any more.' _Angel swore to himself, steeling his reserve again and speaking as sincerely as he could.

"I just wanted to tell you… I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you." He said, his voice trailing off when his voice started to turn husky as he fought off threatening tears. Looking away to hide the tears from his daughter, he took a moment to compose himself before looking back up to find Izzie staring at him with a scrunched up brow.

'_She doesn't understand. How do I explain to a five year old why her daddy wasn't there for her. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.' _

"Izzie… You know I love you, more than anything, you know that… right?" Getting no response but a blank stare, Angel rubbed his temples tiredly trying to think of the easiest way to say what was turning out to be a hard topic to talk about.

"Well, I do. You're the most important thing in the world to me, but… sometimes, daddies are the same as everyone else. Sometimes we get scared. And I guess… well, that's what happened to me." Seeing the hurt look on Izzie's face at that, he quickly rushed on, "Not scared of you, I could never be scared of the prettiest little girl in the world now could I?" He said with a little smile on his face.

'_Very nice touch, Angel.' _Buffy thought behind them at the stove.

Seeing Izzie's lips turn up a little in a smile she couldn't hide; Angel decided to carry on while he was on good footing. "I got scared because I thought that… _'You hated me,' _I just thought that you were gonna get taken from me… and I couldn't stand that. You're… you're my life, and I'm not gonna let anyone take you away from me." Angel stated, looking into her eyes to make sure she believed every word he was telling her.

"Daddy's not gonna be scared anymore, okay?" He told her. Getting no response this time either, he sighed and decided things weren't going to change straight away and that at least he had got the ball rolling. Maybe it's best if he leaves her for the day, just for it to sink in.

"I've gotta go to work now, but I'll be back early tonight for dinner okay."

Leaning over and kissing her on the forehead softly, he told her "I love you" With that said, he got up from the chair with a heavy heart and made his way towards the front hall.

"I love you too, Daddy." Said a tiny voice from behind him.

Spinning around with large eyes, Angel stared at his little girl; Izzie gave him a little smile before completely ignoring him and turning back to shovel a truckload of cereal into her mouth.

Angel just continued to stare, unsure what to do and even more unsure of what had just actually happened. Snapping his head up to look at Buffy, he found her staring back at him with a pleased smile lighting her features.

Realising that Buffy had heard it too meant Izzie must have really spoken and that meant… "Buffy, can I speak to you in the hallway for a moment please." Angel asked quickly leaving the room. Not bothering to check if Buffy was following him, which of course she was.

As soon as she was in the hallway and out of Izzie's sight she was swung off of her feet and into Angel's arms, swinging around. She couldn't help the laughter the burst forth from her lips nor the huge smile on her face that showed no sign of disappearing.

"Did you hea… oh m God, can you belie-… I mean she- Ughh." Angel rambled in excitement pacing back and forth in front of an insanely grinning Buffy, finally running out of words he just grunted in happiness before grabbing Buffy around the waist and hugging her to him tightly, swinging her around again. This time around, his deep laughter joining hers.

When Angel realised how closely he was holding Buffy, he stopped spinning her around and slowly lowered her to the ground. Keeping her close to him he looked into her eyes and smiled, "Thank you."

Buffy was feeling light headed staring into those chocolate eyes so close to her own that she couldn't focus properly; snapping out of it when she realised what he had just said.

"I did nothing. If you want to thank anyone, thank that little girl of yours in there; she's pretty amazing."

Shaking his head and staring deeply into his eyes, Angel was amazed, "How can you not know what you've done for us… for me. I-I… there's nothing I can do to ever repay you for what you've given back to me." He told her sincerely.

Buffy felt like she was going to cry. _'Is this guy for real; he can't be. There's no such thing as Prince Charming - but damn if he doesn't come close.'_

Realising how close they were and that Angel was still holding onto her waist, Buffy took a step back, breaking his hold on her. "Well if you won't believe I did nothing, your welcome. But all need I have, I love working here with Izzie so… I suppose that could be your repayment."

'_Is she for real.' _Angel thought. She had undoubtedly led to the greatest thing that had happened to him in a long time - Izzie speaking to him - and she wouldn't accept any praise whatsoever? He had never met anyone so modest as to deny a simple job well done. He was amazed by her; all of the woman he had grown up with would have jumped at the chance of repayment to the charge of the Angelus fortune but she hadn't. and damn if that didn't make him want to lavish her with everything ten times as much because of it. He felt the overwhelming desire to start lavishing her right now, 'But I'll start simple.'

"Well if you're not going to accept my thanks, then please accept my dinner proposal for tonight." Seeing the colour drain from Buffy's face he quickly tried to make her feel better, "With Izzie of course, a celebration together, you know… because of today." Angel trailed off, more unsure of himself the more he spoke.

Seeing the nervous look on Angel's face, Buffy's heart melted; 'What the hell'

"I would love too." She old him smiling.

Angel couldn't help but give a little half smile in return.

'_If I keep all this smiling up, my hard ass rep is going straight to hell.'_

But no matter how hard he tried, the smile wouldn't wipe away.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy smiled and waved at the smiling little girl who was standing on top of the jungle jim, looking for all the world the happiest child in the universe. Buffy couldn't help the blinding smile that lit her face at the thought that she had some part to do with why Izzie was so happy now, it made her feel… like she worth something. For the longest time she had gone on feeling hopeless, without a purpose or direction in her life. Seeing the smile on Isabella's face changed that, when she looked into her eyes she knew what she was meant for -and it felt good. It felt really good. And it was all because this little girl needed her.

Looking down and shaking her thoughts away from the emotional topic running through her mind she tried to clear the tears away. _'God look at me; I'm getting choked up next to a hippity hop.' _But she couldn't help it. For the longest time she had been numb; now she was overloaded with emotions she was out of practice at how to deal with it all, hence the emotional incontinence.

Looking at the little girl, her mind couldn't help but make the obvious connection and think of her father, which ultimately led her to the thoughts that had been plaguing her and had had kept her most of last night.

Angel was an enigma to her. The first glances into her boss' life gave the her the assumption of… simply put, an asshole. He ignored his daughter to the point of abandonment. When Buffy's path had crossed his, he was very brusque with her - eager to be on his way as soon as he had laid out the set guidelines for Izzie's daytime activities (which she never followed anyway) and then was on his way.

'_But that was just the first few days,'_ she thought. His wife had died and left him to raise a five year old girl - a feat Buffy was sure would be hard for any father - add that to the pressure of running a globally successful law firm and your not coming out with Mr. Chipper of the sunshine gang. Of course he'd be a little… hesitant; she had been a literal stranger.

But… last night he had been so different. They had talked about so many things and he had really listened. She had never had a conversation with someone before that gave her the sensation of someone taking in your words and truly embracing everything you said, like it was the most important thing they had ever heard. No one had ever paid that much attention to her - and she didn't really blame them, she was nothing special; but Angel treated her like her opinion was valued. To feel that from, a man of all people, and a man of Angel's stature… it felt really good. So good she was thinking about him more than she should. Thinking about everything from his velvet voice that sent shivers down her spine when he said her name; to those large hands that looked so comforting, not scary…

'_God, I've gotta stop doing this. Hello - obsessive much.'_

She was getting a headache.

A brisk wind suddenly brushed Buffy, biting into her skin and making her wake from her thoughts. Looking up she saw dark clouds rolling in and decided she better grab Izzie and leave the park now before the monsoon season started.

"Izzie sweetie, come on it's time to go home." She yelled in the general direction of the jungle jim, unsure of where the little girl had got to in all of her adventure. Suddenly seeing a little head pop up from the top level she smiled at the familiar face. Izzie was standing on the ledge before the fireman's pole with the cutest little determined face Buffy had ever seen. She held her breath as she saw Izzie slowly reach forward with shaking hands and grab onto the pole before jumping onto it and swinging all the way down.

Once she reached the ground she just stood there gaping at the pole, seemingly unable to let go of it. Buffy saw her suddenly snap out of her trance only to jump into the air with the biggest smile on her face and sprint to where Buffy was waiting for her, curious and beaming at seeing the biggest smile she had ever seen on the child's angelic features.

"Did you see me, Buffy, did you?" Izzie yelled running all the way to Buffy until she stopped right in front of her, hopping from foot to foot with adrenaline and excitement. Then all of a sudden she stopped jumping about, turning shy all of a sudden as if she thought being happy was a bad thing to do. Continuing her little rant but in a subdued, quiet little voice; she kept looking away timidly trying to avoid meeting Buffy's eyes. "I swinged all the ways down the fireman's pole. That's the first time I ever ever did that." She said with pride in her voice, despite its reserved tone.

Buffy was determined to change the reserved attitude Izzie was showing when she could tell all the little girl really wanted to do was jump around and shout and laugh._'No way am I gonna let her think its bad to be happy. Jesus, she's five years old and did something for the first time, she should be ecstatic bordering on egotistical like all other little kids, and I'm gonna make sure she knows she can! She might have one hell of a poker face - wonder where she got that - but she can't hide her emotions from me.'_

Smiling as brightly as she could, Buffy excitedly picked Izzie up and hugged her to herself, pulling back she saw the confusion on Izzie's face and it cut her right to the bone. _'God, getting a hug is confusing to her? Well, that's just another thing I'm gonna have to change.'_

Not paying any attention to her confusion, Buffy carried on excited as ever. "I saw, you were sooo good sweetie. I'm so proud of you. We have to go home, but how bout you quickly run up there and show me again huh? I wanna take a picture and show your daddy how brave you were when he gets home from work." She said smiling as she put the little girl down and crouched before her, holding her little hands in her own larger ones.

Izzie just stared at Buffy with wide eyes, "Otay Buffy" she said quietly, desperate to please the woman in front of her she loved with all her little heart. She quickly walked towards the jungle jim but stopped suddenly and ran back to Buffy, smacking a big sloppy kiss on her cheek before quickly running away with a conquering look on her face directed towards the jungle jim.

Buffy just looked up at her as she waved from the top of the playground with a proud smile on her face and tears glistening in her eyes.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Angel sat in his office thinking; if you could even call what he was doing that. He was slumped in his chair staring at the wall in amazement, only focusing on two words that kept repeating in his head.

'_She talked.' _

He couldn't believe it. The moment he had been waiting for close to three months had finally happened, and here he was - stunned into inaction. Granted, she had only said four words to him - but still - she spoke! He couldn't wrap his mind around it. And they had been the sweetest words in the world; she didn't hate him like he thought, she still loved him like she always had. His chest felt a million times lighter than it had in months just knowing that.

He remembered looking over at Buffy in shock. As he replayed that memory over in his mind something registered that hadn't before - Buffy hadn't been. Where there should have been a mirrored reflection of his amazement, there was only a gentle smile. She had just looked between the two of them; smiling with fierce pride when she looked at Izzie, and one of… happy understanding when she looked at him.

Like cold water thrown in his face, Angel was shocked into the thought that… she knew. The only explanation to her lack of a reaction was because she had already heard Izzie speak. She wasn't shocked because there wasn't anything shocking happening for her. He wondered briefly how long she had known. And when she had decided to keep it from him. They had spent all of last night together and she hadn't once mentioned the most important thing to happen to Angel in months - well, one of the most important.

Angel sat back in his chair and thought about that little revelation in wonder; let it float around his mind as he digested the facts of his little girl speaking to someone before him. And he waited. Waited to feel the irrational jealousy flare up inside him; he could already feel the indignant thoughts bubbling up in his mind claiming Izzie was his daughter, how dare she keep something like this from him. But strangely, there was no passion behind those words. He honestly didn't feel that way and that was what truly amazed him.

Angel was the first to admit that he was nowhere close to perfect; he knew his faults and he knew them well enough to be able to use them to his advantage in the harsh business world that surrounded him. He was a jealous man and didn't like other people interfering with what was his; he had always been like that - just ask Billy Dreskin who had to stay off school a week after Angel got through with him for taking his action man in the second grade.

So then why wasn't those emotions running rampant when it came to this situation - arguably the most possessive topic for him is his daughter and he had admitted that in the past when flying off the handle when it came to his darling girl. But now, the only thought in his head regarding Buffy keeping this huge secret from him was - gratefulness. Yes, she had chosen to withhold the information, but… without her in their lives, their would be no information to withhold because Izzie wouldn't have spoken; of that Angel was certain.

No, all he felt right now was extreme happiness that things were starting to finally come together again in his life after the shit that was the past few months. And it was all because of one beaut…

Just before he further sunk into his thoughts, the door to his office burst open with a force that only one person would dare impose on the president of A.W.E. corporations; and that was the co founder.

"What do you want, Spike." Angel all but growled out, pissed that he had to deal with his ass of business partner when he all he wanted to do was sit with his thoughts all day.

"Nothin' to get you all hot and bothered about ya ponce. Just came to inform ye of great forehead that I'm going out of town for a couple of days." Spike, informed, strolling over and jumping into one of Angel's chair and putting his feet up on the desk.

Walking around to where Spike sat to disgustingly push hie feet off of the desk, Angel leaned back on his desk and crossed his arms. "And where is it your going. In case your forgetting, we have a business here to run and I didn't sign on to be the mule of this partnership. You wanna run out half way through the week, it better be in your damn holiday time."

"Oi, ya big pouf. If I wanna leave during the busiest day in the history of busy shitty days I'll do it, and you'll smile. The only question you get to ask is if I'll bring you back a stick of rock! And you know why I can do that; because I'm the co owner!" Spike spat out, pissed that he was being questioned like a measly little temp worker on their first day.

"Well Spikey, here's something you should keep in mind - things change. You wanna slack off, do it on your own time. I take a lot of shit from you because we have a history but I'm not gonna be your whipping boy when you feel like you haven't seen Candy from 'Girls, Girls, Girls' for a while."

Leaning back in his chair with a smirk on his face, Spike looked Angel in the eye as he placed his feet on the desk again and gave a little laugh; "Well if it isn't my old mate Angelus, haven't seen you in a while. What was it, huh? Must be something pretty big for you to be showing the old heavy brow about."

Pushing Spike's feet off the desk again and walking around to his chair to slump down into its Italian leather, Angel mumbled, "It's nothing."

Sitting forward in his chair, intrigued "Now why don't I believe that. It's not everyday you go around growling about me taking a couple days off - hell, I practically do it every week. What I want to know is - who's the girl?"

"Nobody." Angel grumbled, sinking further back into his leather chair, hoping to disappear into it. _'God am I that obvious. If Spike, Mr Obtuse, can figure it out then everyone will - maybe even Buffy, and that can defiantly not happen. She'd quit because she's so disgusted her boss is obsessed with her and then it would be all my fault that Izzie has lost the one person sh…'_

"ANGEL!"

Angel shook his head dazedly and tried to focus his eyes on Spike again.

"Jesus mate, must'a been nice where you where cos I couldn't get through for about five minutes." Spike said with a touch of curiosity colouring his voice.

Rubbing his face tiredly as he realised he was losing his mind. And it was all due to one blonde girl who captured his attention the first second he saw her. Any sane man would fire her, but he couldn't; Izzie loved her, and to be honest - he loved her being in the house just as much as Izzie did. _'What else can I do then?' he thought frustrated. 'Can't fire her; can't stop thinking about her; maybe hypnotism… yea, that could work, just have them command me to stop thinki…'_

"ANGEL!" Spike was standing above him now, looking more worried now than curious.

"I'm fine Spike" he told his associate tiredly.

"Yeah, sure. Well I'm off in a minute but I'm gonna leave you with some words of wisdom, mate. Whoever this girl is who's got you all flushed" speaking louder when Angel tried to tell him there is no girl, "Whoever she is she must be a hell of a girl, cos I ain't seen you this worked up over anything EVER! And I have known you a bloody long time, so whatever little list of reasons why you can't shag the…" pausing at Angel's loud growl at the word shag, _'Hell I want to meet this girl that has him so twisted he won't let me say the word shag about her.' _

"…make love well into the night to - tear it up. It don't matter and you should just go for it. And then let me meet the broad and see what has you so worked up. Maybe I can solve your problem simply by taking her off your hands." Spike said with a wicked grin, knowing that would piss of his colleague more than anything.

Angel just growled at the thought of anyone with his golden girl, _' When did I turn into a cheesy romance novel,' _especially Spike.

"Get out Spike." he growled.

"With pleasure," Spike called out behind him, already having reached the door to the office, "Think about what I said Peaches." With that said, the door slammed shut behind him - leaving the way he entered.

Angel closed his eyes as he reclined back into his chair, as always, he was more tired now with his thoughts than when Spike had first entered. _'But maybe he had a point there, Buffy is the first girl I've ever had this reaction to, maybe that's a sign that… I shouldn't be thinking negatively about all this. I wouldn't be that bad if I jus- Hold up, am I seriously thinking of taking advice from Spike! I must be really losing it.'_

Deciding that he couldn't spend the rest of the day thinking about things he had no idea what to think about. Feeling a small smile lighting his face again, he decided to focus on the amazing gift he had been given that morning. His daughter.

His little girl was slowly coming back to him, and he knew exactly who to thank for it. _'If only I can thank her the way I want to,' _the little devil on his left corner whispered suggestively into his ear. Shaking it off and muttering a few choice curse words about the 'peroxide puppy,' Angel spent the rest of the afternoon ignoring the Meyers case and instead focusing on how he could show Buffy he was thankful - the PG way of course.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

Review people!!! I will try and get the next one out faster and reviews will encourage me to do that. I'm feeling crappy all the time now cos I have these two jobs taking up all of my time so its unbelievably nice to read a review. I am not lying when I saw it makes my day.

Many thanks to those who reviewed last time - hope you liked this one and rest assured, plenty of BA coming up.

p.s. It was brought to my attention I used the term 'Jail-bait' when Angel was thinking of Buffy even though she is of legal age to date anyone. I am truly sorry if this offended any of you out there but I simply meant the term to show Angel's train of thought and own personal hang ups about the age - something a lot of people have. I personally don't have any problems with large age differences in relationships (more power to you!) and was technically jailbait (lol) myself in one relationship - I was just trying to express another varied opinion. Sorry if it didn't come across and please keep reading. Thanks, WC :-)


	10. Promises Kept

**Authors note: **Holy crap it's been a while! I had wanted to get his out before Christmas as a kinda present but that didn't happen, lol. I've just been exhausted lately and haven't done much but come home from work to sleep then go to work again - doesn't leave me much time to write. But I am happy to announce that Sunday was my last day at my second job so I now have weekends free, woohoo!! I am sooo happy about it its unbelievable. Anyway, that means this fic should be updated regularly (I say that loosely)

**Feedback: **Please, I do love it so.

**AN2: **Some people pointed out a mistake in the last chapter when I mentioned Buffy hadn't told Angel about Izzie speaking, before that I wrote she_ had _told him. Sorry, this is a big mistake on my part cos I wrote the beginning chapters on 1 comp and the 2nd on another so I was writing on memory. I haven't fixed it yet but I will be amending the mistake real soon. Because I'm so busy and mistakes like this are gonna happen, I was wondering if anyone would want to beta this story for me. I have no clue what a beta is (lol) but I'm pretty sure they stop things like that happening. Send me an E-mail if you're interested.

Buffy was sitting with Izzie in the living room watching 'Cinderella;' she had been nervously pacing around when she noticed it was having an effect on Izzie and forced herself to stop so she suggested watching the little girl's favourite film, which of course Izzie had jumped at.

Izzie was deeply engrossed in the singing mice but Buffy couldn't find it in herself to share the same level of concentration; her mind was drifting and she couldn't seem to focus on anything, she had been like it all day. And it was all because of one phone call.

'_One phone call and I'm like this? What the hell is wrong with me!'_

When she and Izzie had arrived back home after the park, a half hour hadn't passed before Angel had called, telling her to get herself and Izzie dressed up tonight and to be ready by seven o'clock sharp. To say she had been shocked wouldn't have been far from the truth,; she had never seen Angel come home earlier than ten o'clock in all of the time she had been there as Izzie's nanny; and despite his brief mention of being home early tonight to Izzie this morning, she hadn't really expected him to follow through.

'_I guess he was telling the truth,' _she thought looking down lovingly at the little girl tucked under her arm who was staring fascinated at the television screen.

Looking at the clock, her hands started fidgeting when she saw it was 6:57.

'_Who am I kidding. Men are assholes! I know from experience so I shouldn't change my views now when they've been working for me so far. I know how this is gonna play out; he's gonna be late like last time and I'll have to explain to Izzie why her Daddy broke another promise.'_

'_I don't even know why I got all dressed up,' _she thought self-consciously smoothing out invisible creases in her, now disgusting in her eyes, dress.

Right then the doorbell sounded, crashing both Buffy and Izzie out of their individual thoughts.

Getting up to answer the door, Buffy was amazed to see Angel standing in front of her with two roses in his hands; one red and one pink, smiling at her.

'_And my GOD! Angel's in a suit; holy shit he's gorgeous - I mean, normally he's gorgeous, but in a suit… and crap he's smiling at me - smiling Angel in a suit - I think I'm gonna pass out.'_

"I would like to propose that the two stunning ladies of the house spoil me tonight with their presence and join me for dinner. What do you say?" Angel asked in a faux posh accent, before giving into the half smile that was tugging at his lips.

Buffy couldn't help but return the grin.

Noticing Angel's stare go past her, Buffy turned to see Izzie standing behind her in the hallway, her white dress and ringlets that Buffy had spent an hour on making her look like an angel.

Both adults waited with baited breath to see what the little girls reaction would be. Would she yell? Would she be too scared to leave the house after dark? Had she even forgiven her father yet? All of these questions were shooting through Buffy's and Angel's minds.

They got their answer when for first time since Buffy had worked at the O'Connor household, and in the presence of her father, Izzie smiled.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Angel couldn't help but walk a little straighter as they entered the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in Sunnydale, his chest puffed out with arrogant pride - but he couldn't help it. When his front door had opened tonight he had been stunned by the goddess that had been standing before him; Buffy. Dressed in a deep purple silk dress that stopped just below her knees and showed of her curves, she looked breathtaking.

She had stood there with a shocked expression on her face at the sight of him there, and he would admit that it gave him a thrill to have surprised her. He knew she didn't have the best impression of him so far, and who could blame her, but he was dead set that from now on, her life would be a constant surprise as long as she stayed with him.

'_Me and Izzie of course, that's what I meant… yeah.' _

Glaring at all of the men ogling Buffy as she walked by Angel couldn't refrain from walking a little closer to her and pressing a possessive palm to the small of her back, staring straight into the eyes of anyone daring to look at her.

'_Yeah, she's with me. Look at your own goddamn dates - and my GOD does she feel good! Her skin is so soft and it's only her back, I wonder what other parts…'_

Angel's thoughts were interrupted when the maitre'd stopped them at their usual table - the best in the house. Remembering his manners, Angel thanked the man and walked around to pull out Buffy's chair before she got the chance to do it herself.

Buffy couldn't fight the blush that rose to her cheeks when Angel pulled out her chair for her; no one had ever done that for her and it made her feel… special. Like Angel thought she was worth silly chivalrous actions like that - and she liked it.

It hadn't escaped her attention that he had been glaring daggers at anyone who happened to look her way; or the casual placing of his hand on her back that had made her nearly jump out of her skin was a warning to all men in the building.

'_Like they needed a warning - most men never come near me.' _she thought. But it was nice that Angel thought she was worth it.

Focusing on the designer table cloth that probably cost more than her entire wardrobe put together, Buffy waited until she was sure the blush was gone from her cheeks before she looked up to see Angel staring at her with a look of, was that… desire. She had no clue having little to no experience with men - and the few relationships she had been involved in couldn't come close to the raw emotion she felt when she looked at Angel. Realising that she had been staring, Buffy's blush returned full force as she quickly looked away from his burning stare.

Angel wasn't as shy. He didn't know what it was with him tonight; maybe it was because of the intimate setting, maybe the feeling of being a real family - a new feeling for him, maybe it was all of these things combined but tonight, he felt absolutely no shame at admiring the amazing woman in front of him. He only looked away when she blushed, _'God she's cute when she does that' _

Realising he was being too obvious in his admiration of her; he had no problem admitting his attraction but the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable around him, so he tried to change the topic of thought for both himself and Buffy.

"So ladies, what are we having tonight?" Angel asked looking across the table towards Buffy and then Izzie. Izzie remained tight-lipped and showed no indication of speaking. Buffy saw this and spoke up instead to avoid the uncomfortable silence that was sure to follow.

"Anything but eggs" Buffy said with a mock scowl on her face, which melted away into a smile at the hoped for giggles erupting from Izzie.

Angel tried to look happy, attempted a smile even that he was hearing his daughter laugh for the first time in four months of literal silence; and to be honest a part of him was. Was stunned and warmed by the tinkling laughter, but the larger part o f him was screaming inside that his daughter was laughing about an event that was worthy of her laughter and he didn't have a clue what it was; and damn if that didn't hurt.

Seeing the pained expression on Angel's face that she could tell he was trying to hide with his weak smile, it immediately made her feel guilty. She hadn't meant to shut him out by saying that but that's exactly what she had done. She didn't want to rub his recent absence in his face; she hadn't expected it but he was really trying! Taking them out tonight had been a wonderful first step and she didn't want to take that away from him.

"You see Angel, your daughter here was extremely sweet and thought she would make me lunch while I was cleaning the house," Buffy started, grinning when she saw Izzie blush shyly.

"So she decided that she would make me eggs as their easy to make - at least that's what she thought…" Buffy said, raising her eyes to the heavens in faux exasperation.

"What she didn't know was that you had clean out the popcorn kennels from the night before when you put the eggs into it." she finished giggling right along with Izzie now. "It took us an hour to get the eggs off the ceiling." She finished, full out laughing now.

Angel couldn't help but chuckle at the mental image Buffy created for him, and be thankful for it. He couldn't help but be impressed by her. She had seen his distress and promptly found a way to include him and put an end to the awkwardness between father and daughter. The girl had skills.

'_Ohh, bad thing to think Angel; do NOT go there.' _He thought, tearing himself away from the enticing mental images those words created.

Distracting himself, he spoke, "Well you can't really blame her, the only cooking she's witnessed from me is dialling take out." Angel said with a smile.

"I like your cooking daddy." Izzie spoke quietly.

Angel's breath caught in his chest

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

I asked daddy if he was okay at dinner tonight cos he was being weird and it scared me cos I thought maybe something bad happened at work, like when Mr Meyers got in trouble again and called daddy real late at night and daddy said a lot of bad words cos he had to… um, p-pail the weasel out again! Daddy had been angry for a whole week for that so I had to be estra estra good that week to not make him mad. I just want to know if I have to be good again.

But daddy just smiled really big like he used to. Like when he came to my dance recitals and I use to go really good cos I wanted him to like my dancing. Then he said he was just happy that I was happy again.

So I looked to Buffy cos she always made me feel better and talked to me like I was a grown up and I love her. But she looked the same as daddy so I stayed quiet. I don't know what was happening, but I did know one thing.

Grown ups are weird.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Three people stood looking up into the black and white screens of the television hanging above them.

"So Izzie, what do you wanna go see?" Angel asked, looking away from the screen he had been feigning interest in; he had really been stealing suruptiscious glances at the other member of their group.

Buffy chose to answer seeing Izzie's indifference, "Well I'm sure Izzie is like me and is desperate to go see 'Devil wears Prada.' But as I'm pretty sure you'd prefer anything else we can chose a happy medium - how 'bout… 'Click' It's meant to be funny and not to chick flick-y for you Angel."

"Chose whatever you want Buffy" Angel told her, smiling at how sweet she was for taking his feelings into consideration, "We can go see your film."

"Are you sure" She asked with a frown; she couldn't imagine him being happy sitting through 2 hours of female empowerment. "I'm sure the other film is just as good and ev…"

"Buffy, it's fine" he interrupted, smiling gently at her. "As long as my girls are happy, so am I."

Buffy's breath caught in her chest and her cheeks burst forth with an embarrassing blush at Angel's words_'My girls.' _Buffy had to look away to hide the huge smile that trying to corrupt her face.

Angel immediately regretted his choice of words. _'Stupid idiot, way to make her feel uncomfortable! Could you sound more like the possessive, psycho boss if you tried.' _But it had felt so natural saying it, he couldn't help himself. But no matter how good it felt to say what he had wanted since he first saw her, it didn't make it right to push his feelings onto her and make her feel awkward. Turning away from the screens showing the film times, Angel looked to Buffy to excuse what he had said, only to find her staring at the ground with a light smile on her face and blush on her cheeks.

A large proud grin was on his face when he turned back to look at the screen and he felt dizzily happy, he couldn't help but think it…

'_I'm the man'_

Laughing at himself, he turned to look down at Izzie. "So, you up for seeing a film about the corrupt fashion industry that victimises young impressionable girls forcing them into cults worshipping anorexia." Angel asked in a faux chipper voice.

The little girl just shrugged her little shoulders in nonchalance before looking at what she was really there for - the candy counters.

Seeing where Izzie was looking off to he couldn't help but smirk, _'Trust a five year old to have her priorities,' _he chuckled

"Okay, we can get some ice cream" Angel told her.

When she smiled at him - a real smile that lit her eyes for the first time - Angel couldn't help but sweep her up in a big hug; closing his eyes against the tears that threatened to drown his eyes when she returned the hug. The only thing that could make this moment better would be if he could wrap his arm around Buffy. God, the desire to do so was overwhelming, but he resisted. At least she was standing there beside him, sharing this with him; he should be happy with that - but that didn't help his desire to hold her or the disappointment he felt at his cowardice.

Buffy watched the scene before her with tears in her eyes. She was seeing something here that few people got to see and an event that hadn't taken place in months - a father and daughter showing they loved each other. She felt her heart melt at the contented smile on Angel's face and thought she would die at how beautiful he looked when he was at peace - this was the man she had seen in the many happy photos decorating the mansion; she felt privileged to witness him like this.

But she couldn't help but feel… isolated.

She tried not to but she felt like she was intruding on a private moment; she knew she should busy herself and turn away but she didn't. Normally she would but this time she didn't want to be kept separate, she wanted to share this with them more than anything - she knew she shouldn't but the desire to wrap her arms around the both of them was strong within her. Closing her eyes to fight it off, she tried to ignore the stab of disappointment branding her heart.

She decided to stop torturing herself and was about to turn away when Angel suddenly opened his eyes and stared straight at her.

And smiled.

Buffy's breath was taken away from the sight and she felt her knees go weak, by the sight and the gesture he was making.

It was then she knew she was a part of this.

And she didn't try to stop the blinding smile that crossed her face when she realised it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

A figure shrouded in the protective darkness of the crowded street stood across the street from the unsuspecting trio walking out of the cinema and into the jag out front.

A half smile tugged at his pale lips conflicting the harsh frown marring his brow.

"That's it." A dark voice whispered to the unhearing crowd. "lap it up with the loved ones. Might as well while it lasts, cos this family special is about to finish. I've taken something from you before; shouldn't be too hard a second time."

A woman hurrying home from work to see her kids was stopped in the busy street by a chilling laughter, trying to find the source - all she found was empty space.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Buffy pulled down the princess duvet cover as Angel gently laid the sleeping Izzie down. Taking off her shoes, Angel placed them neatly beside her bed as Buffy pulled the covers up around the little girl to ward off an imaginary chill before lovingly brushing the hair off her face and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Angel was stunned at how effortless the action had seemed. She was totally at ease with the action and showing her affection for Izzie and it amazed him at how much she actually did care.

'_A lot more than Darla ever showed - and she was her mother! I don't think I saw that woman give her daughter a smile let alone a hug or kiss.'_

Shaking out of his thoughts, Angel sat down on the bed and took Izzie's little hand in his; thanking God for her and the progress she had made in the last couple of weeks. Deciding he should be thanking someone else for that, Angel looked up to find Buffy smiling at him, which instantly made him forget everything he was thinking and just instead return the gesture.

Leaning down to kiss his daughter's forehead, Angel then stood up and motioned for Buffy to follow him out of the room.

Quietly closing the door behind him, Angel made sure it was shut before he looked over to Buffy and quickly collapsed against the hallway wall with an exhausted sigh.

Laughing at his actions, Buffy patted his arm sympathetically. "You did great."

Smiling at the simple gesture and reassurance from her touch, he turned to look at her instead of the wall, "You really think so? Not too… I don't know, too… anything?"

"Defiantly not too anything at all. It was all of the good."

"You're sure, cos that bit around desserts made me wanna impale myself."

"You were wonderful," Buffy laughed, until she realised what she had said that is to which her cheeks immediately flamed up with embarrassment before continuing. "Izzie loved it. And thank you for doing it, you didn't have to."

Looking down at the floor to find the courage to say what she wanted to, she looked back up

"And n-not just for Izzie; thank you… from me as well." she risked her blushing cheeks to glance up at Angel, who had such a beatific smile on his face she couldn't help but be happy she had said what she did if it caused that.

"Your welcome."

"W-Well, I better change before I wrinkle the only good dress I own." she said looking anywhere but Angel. "Goodnight."

"Night. Oh and Buffy," Angel called, waiting for her to turn around from her current trek down the hallway. "It meant a lot to me too… that you came. Thank you." He told her sincerely.

Words seemed to fail Buffy at that because the only response he got was a vacant and hesitant nod of her head, before she turned and left Angel alone in the hallway.

Closing his eyes and leaning against the wall once again; Angel tried to collect his scattered thoughts, which was pretty hard considering his brain felt like it had been fried by an electric chair. A lot had happened tonight, he had made things happen; now it was just a matter of time to see if any of those changes were 'of the good,' as Buffy would say, he thought with a fond smile.

'_God, I can't get her out of my head!'_

Hearing padded footsteps on the carpeted floor made Angel's eyes snap open, and when he did he found Buffy standing in front of him with a look of determination on her gorgeous face; standing so close it made his breath catch in his throat.

'_God, she's gorgeous. And that's defiantly not what I should be thinking when she's standing so close to me. And what is she doing anyway. You say goodnight then go to bed - those are the rules! That system should never be confused because if it is then I won't know what rules apply and the whole system will fuck up and I'll end up grabbing you and th- Jesus, I can feel her breath on my neck! God that feels good. Fuck, she's making me fucking crazy!'_

Snapping his eyes back to the object of his desire, affection, worship, etc. Angel looked into her deep eyes and was instantly lost.

'_Up close, their even bigger and a lighter shade of moss green than I thought.'_

Before he had a chance to see how it had happened, Buffy had raised herself up onto her tiptoes to press the softest of kisses against his stubbled cheek.

Starring at her with dazed eyes, Angel fought the strong impulse to press his hand against his cheek to sink the kiss further into his skin.

Buffy just looked at him with a warm, close mouthed smile that reached her eyes before she turned and hurried out of the hallway towards her bedroom. Angle just stood there staring into the empty space Buffy had previously filled, slumped once again against the wall for what must have been the thousandth time that night.

The only thing that he could think as he strutted on down to his bedroom with a dopey smile on his face…

'_Change is **damn** good!'_


	11. Braided Suggestions

**Author's note: **Hey Everybody :D I'm sorry this update is coming after so long - if I was you I'd kick my ass! Lol. But I unexpectedly moved to Ireland to live with my dad for a few months cos my Grandma died. I was really close to her and have been in a slump for a while - plus, no comp at my dad's. Anyway, sorry to those who have been waiting for this and I hope you keep reading.

**Dedication: **To Jessica, whose review I read a couple of days ago and she sounded so annoyed and frustrated with me I couldn't help but get another chappie out, lol. And to everyone else who reviewed - you guys RULE!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Izzie was sitting quietly in front of the TV, sharing her concentration between the puzzle before her and the powerpuff girls latest foe. Buffy was getting a rare moment of peace in the usually chaotic stream that seemed to pass through the O'Connor household and took advantage by putting her bare feet up on the couch and reading what had been her personal Bible in high school: Vogue.

With Magdalena back from her sick bed taking care of all of the household chores once again, Buffy's only real duty was Isabella. And sitting happily at her feet matching Cinderella next to her Prince Charming didn't require as much work as one would think; henceforth, enter Vogue.

Thinking back to those times in high school, Buffy couldn't help but laugh at the memories that flashed through her mind. It had been so simple back then, her life had revolved around the latest fashion and who had the hottest guy asking them out and gossiping through study hall because, Duh, that's what study hall is for.

But then one day things changed, and that part of her life had stopped. She grew up. And nothing she had tried would get that time of sweet innocence back.

But there was no point dwelling on things she couldn't change; and she wondered, even if she could go back to being that shallow but ultimately happy little ditz she had been… would she? Peering out from behind the magazine, Buffy looked down at the little girl currently leaning against her leg that was dangling on the floor. Feeling Buffy's gaze on her, Izzie looked up and smiled at her before returning her attention to the puzzle.

'_No,' _she mused. _'What I have now… I like… And then there's the hot boss I kissed last night - and I am **SO** not going there right now'_ she mentally put her foot down to the topic.

But of course the thing you don't wanna think about is always the only thing on your mind so Buffy was quickly assaulted by a slideshow of images from the previous nights events.

God, what had she been thinking! You don't just go around tonguing in with you employer; unless you worked at, like a kissing booth or something; but not a Nanny! And okay - there was no tongue per se, but the principle was the same. God, she could only think what the agency would say if they ever found out.

Lord knows what had possessed her to do it. All she had known right before the moment she walked back over to Angel is that she felt like if she didn't kiss him in that exact moment she would explode. She just thanked God she had the presence of mind to kiss just his cheek!

Just thinking about it; the soft skin pressed against her lips, the stubble that lightly scraped her chin sending the most delicious shiver down her spine; the pounding of her heart beating to the same rhythm as his breath on her cheek; the absolu--

'_Wrongness of the entire situation! Jesus, what is wrong with me! A couple of weeks ago the mere thought of a man touching me would of sent me into a full blown panic attack with a side of hyperventilating, but him… I'm walking past him pretending there's a reason for it when all I'm really doing is hoping to feel the brush of his hand against mine!' _She sighed internally.

'_If Lindsey could see me now he would laugh his ass off' _

'"_The nun finally lifting her veil for a man? Well colour me, I never thought I'd see the day! I better go buy me some lottery tickets."' _

Buffy scowled at the reaction she knew her best friend would have if he heard about her confusing feelings for her boss. Point and fact as to why she had yet to reveal them to him - or anyone else for that matter - what is currently going on with her.

But Buffy couldn't help but think, despite the fact it confused the hell out of her, all the scary things she was feeling, actually filled her with a sense of... Hope.

For a long time she had thought herself numb to those type's of emotions; whenever she saw her friends getting serious with a guy and heard them gushing about them, all she had felt was a overwhelming sense of jealousy that she was incapable of those feelings. And when she finally got sick of her friends pestering her over why she didn't date and went out with some random person that meant nothing to her - she felt physically sick. Not only by the men but with herself as well. Her skin would be red raw the next day from scrubbing her skin for hours after in the shower.

Maybe this was exactly what her friends had waxed lyrical over for hours, why they tried to set her up with every available male friend of theirs in the 20 - 40 age bracket; because if it was, she couldn't blame them for wanting her to share something so… addictive. And that's exactly what it was. Her constant glancing at the clock during the day wasn't a mild form of tourette's; no, she was actually checking to see how long before Angel would be home and she would see him again.

She was hopeless and she knew it.

Looking around at the lavish room she was seated in; the gorgeous little girl happily playing at her feet, and the delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen topping off the warm fuzzy feelings in her stomach, Buffy smiled to herself. All of these things reaffirming to herself of her earlier feelings that where she was now was of the good.

And having eye candy for a boss didn't hurt the situation either.

xxxxxxxxxx

Having read every letter of the Bible (Vogue) twice, Buffy was now left with nothing to do - she could smell something that was making her mouth water so it looked like assisting Magdalena with the cooking was out of the question.

Turning to Izzie who had just finished her puzzle, Buffy smiled and called her over to sit beside her.

Always eager to be near Buffy, Izzie bounded over and cuddled into Buffy's side. Wrapping her arm around the little girl to snuggle her closer, Buffy idly ran strands of Izzie's hair through her fingers coming up with an idea that would keep Izzie and herself entertained for at least a little while.

"Hey Izzie, would you let me braid your hair. I promise not to make you bald by the end of it; well I'll try not to anyway" she said with a smile.

Izzie just nodded her head excitedly, she had never had her hair braided before.

"Alright, I'll just run to my room to get some things for your hair."

Seeing the brief expression of uncertainty on Izzie's face gave Buffy pause to leaving the room, knowing that Izzie didn't like being left alone for even short periods of time, but seeing the look of uncertainty disappear the moment she heard Magdalena's voice coming from the kitchen singing Madonna's 'Like a Prayer.' She turned back to Buffy and nodded at her, silently telling her she was okay.

As Buffy was coming back down the stairs, hairbrush in hand, she slowed her pace when she passed the photograph of Izzie as a newborn baby in her mothers arms. It was not the first time she had got caught up in staring at this particular photo.

Having lived at the mansion for over a month, she considered herself to have a relatively decent amount of knowledge on the family she worked with. But in all the time that she had lived here, Buffy had only heard of the enigmatic Darla once, and that had been very briefly during her interview for the job with Angel. And the impression she had got then was he didn't want to talk about it.

She had not once heard Isabella mention anything about her mom, and mainly because she didn't speak for the majority of Buffy's stay at the O'Connor mansion, Buffy didn't ask. Maybe the reason Izzie didn't talk about it was she felt she couldn't talk about it with anyone. Angel having shown a clear displeasure in discussing the matter.

But things were different now. Buffy didn't want Izzie to ever feel afraid to tell her something; she's a little girl who lost her mother, surely there must be something she wanted to talk about concerning the matter. Maybe Darla wasn't a harsh mother like she thought, and the truth was she had a very close relationship with her daughter.

Izzie had opened up to her, Buffy wanted her to know she could turn to her to talk about it.

But despite Izzie's happy disposure around Buffy, she was positive that when she was by herself it was a very different story.

And for some unknown reason, Buffy thought that the scars that had caused the little girl to refuse speaking were linked to the woman in the picture.

She hoped to God that she was wrong, for Izzie's sake. But her gut feeling was that she wasn't.

Either way, Buffy was determined to get to the bottom of the mystery surrounding the woman in the picture, with the cold, cold eyes.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"You ready to be pampered?" Buffy asked walking back into the living room.

"Yep" Izzie said, springing from the couch to sit on the floor, sitting down in front of Buffy who was on the sofa.

As Buffy started the first braid in Izzie's hair, she tried to think of an opening line that would help broach the subject of Darla. Deciding to just jump right in, Buffy opened her mouth in attempt to speak before really knowing what to say.

"Iz… Izzie, I was wondering something." Buffy started out, trying to avoid a stutter. She'd been a nanny for a long time and knew that kids got nervous when adults weren't confident in what they were saying, so she tried to avoid that as much as possible.

"What Buffy?" Izzie asked softly while at the same time nodding her head to the music coming from the kitchen.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about your mommy." She said finitely.

At the abrupt halt of movement from the little girl, Buffy released Izzie's hair immediately to place her hands on her little shoulders; hoping to offer comfort to the girl who must find this topic extremely difficult to talk about.

Rubbing her shoulders in a soothing manner, Buffy continued; "I hope you know Sweetie, that you can talk to me about anything, nothing you ever tell me will make me sad or angry with you."

Getting no response from Izzie, Buffy started to get worried that she had overstepped her bounds and pushed Izzie too far.

'_God, can you say inconsiderate! She only just started talking and you jump on her with the hard questions. Well I have to finish what I started now.'_

"It's just that I thought… maybe you're not sure who you can talk to about those things… about your mommy and stuff. And I wanted you to know, you can with me. Whatever you're feeling; whatever you tell me, will never be the wrong thing. So if you ever want to talk about her… or maybe we could go and visit her if you wan- Izzie?"

Buffy's sentence was stopped abruptly when Izzie stood up quickly from the floor, and without looking back, ran out of the room and up the stairs in the hallway ignoring Buffy who was calling her name.

"Well, that went well," Buffy humphed before standing up, preparing to follow the little girl wherever it was she ran off to.

Just as she was about to leave the living room, something from the kitchen caught her eye; she turned to see Magdalena standing in the entryway of the kitchen leaning against the doorway with a sad smile on her face, having heard the entire conversation. Standing upright, she nodded at Buffy before turning around and walking back into the kitchen.

Frowning, Buffy stared at the now empty doorway before brushing it off and going off in search of her delicate charge.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

**AN:** Not the longest chapter, I know; but I wanted to something out to get me back in 'the zone' lol. No Angel in this chapter -sadly - but a lot goes on in the next chapter so this one is just the build up - needed to get it out to set a lot of future stuff up. Will try and get the next chapter within a week or two.

Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed and remember to do it again! LOL.


	12. Check Confusion at the Door

**Authors note: **Long time no fanfic! Sorry about the long wait, but for the longest time I wasn't liking this fic. Don't know why but just couldn't find it in me to write - without my muse you might say. Anyway, even if I start to hate this fic I will finish it no matter what - I wouldn't do that to you lot as I hate it myself when fics get finished. Anyway - hope you like.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Knocking timidly on the door while poking her head into the room, Buffy gave a once over the shadowed bedroom before stepping inside and closing the door shut behind her. Bathed in the sudden darkness, she took a second to let her eyes adjust to the change of light and when she did, she noticed that the room wasn't completely dark.

In the middle of the room where the Cinderella playhouse tent stood - was the outline of the playhouse silhouetted in a deep orange glow coming from inside the little tent.

_'There she is._' Buffy thought, '_Now I just have to walk over there and talk to her…oh God.'_

Buffy knew that it was stupid to be nervous to talk to Izzie. _'I mean, I love her, why am I nervous.'_ But the answer was whispering in the back of Buffy's head - _'It's because you love her; if you mess this up, it will hurt more because of that.'_

Bending down, Buffy pulled back the material that passed for a door on the playhouse and crawled in, laying down and facing Izzie who was currently pretending to be asleep. The tightly squinted eyes a dead giveaway that she wasn't.

Buffy smiled at Izzie's attempt to avoid the situation, using a method she herself had always tried in the past - and the cute face she was pulling.

Deciding to use a time old classic, Buffy slowly reached out and began to gently stroke Izzie's baby soft hair. Whispering, "Oh no, she's asleep. Guess I'll just have to eat all that chocolate fudge brownie ice cream Magdalena made all by myself. Oh I really wanted Izzie to be awake to help me eat it all."

Izzie's eyes had shot open as soon as the word chocolate left Buffy's mouth, then realising that she was meant to be asleep, she quickly shut her eyes again tightly - not seeing the smile on Buffy's face.

"Umm, maybe I'll put some sauce on it, I wonder what type would be good?" Buffy fake wondered.

"Caramel." Izzie said instantly, opening her eyes to smile at Buffy.

"Yeah" Buffy smiled lovingly at her, "Caramel would defiantly be my choice too."

Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes, just lay in the tent in comfortable silence as Buffy continued the soothing motion on the girl's head. Buffy was just watching the dark blonde hair run through her fingers when she felt Izzie's eyes on her; looking at her, she saw Izzie was smiling at her with something close to awe in her expression, a look that filled her with warmth so she smiled right back. After a few seconds, Izzie's eyes nervously glanced away from Buffy's own and the smile on her face started to tremble, she was looking anywhere but the eyes of her Nanny.

"I don't wanna go see her grave." Izzie said in a quiet voice that trembled right along with her bottom lip. "Please don't make me" she spoke so quietly that Buffy had to strain to hear her.

"Okay. We don't have to go" Buffy told while giving what she hoped was a comforting smile, never stopping the reassuring strokes of her hand on the little girls hair.

Noticing that Izzie's eyes had stated to droop from in the comfort of her presence, Buffy realised that she probably wasn't going to be hearing any heart felt emissions today, so she softly pulled her hand away from Izzie's nearly asleep head. But there was just one question that kept nagging at her brain; so she couldn't resist bringing her hand back up to Izzie's head and resuming the gentle, rhythmic stroking in an attempt to rouse her and ask in a hushed voice, "Why don't you wanna go visit her grave, Sweetie?"

Izzie's only movement was the brief fluttering of her eyelids - showing the child's struggle to stay awake. In a sleep drowned voice she whispered back. "Cause it makes me feel bad."

Buffy just stared at the girl, loving her more than she thought she could, more than she was technically allowed - at least by the agency. Reaching down to pull some covers up over the little girl, Buffy kissed her chubby little cheek, thanking whoever had intervened and sent her here to help this troubled little thing.

"Buffy?" Izzie said in a whisper, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"Do you think that my Mommy will be mad at me in Heaven?"

Reaching over to stroke Izzie's arm, Buffy poured as much honesty and sincerity into her voice as possible when she answered, "No Sweetie, she won't be mad at you. She'll understand why you don't want to go to her grave. But I bet she's with you all th-"

"No Buffy" Izzie interrupted, her eyes suddenly wide awake and staring straight into the older girl's eyes. "I didn't mean mad about that. Do you think she'll be mad cause I killed her?" Without waiting for an answer, Izzie closed her eyes and snuggled into the covers, almost as an afterthought asking, "Can I have my ice cream tomorrow?"

Before Buffy had a chance to allow the dryness of her throat to pass enough for her to answer, Izzie had already fallen fast asleep.

"Yeah, Sweetie" She whispered to the darkness, "You can have it whenever you want."

All was quiet after that in the playhouse rent.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Walking down the stairs, Buffy didn't know what to think. The moment she had heard Izzie's last statement, it was like her body had gone on auto-pilot mode. What the hell was she supposed to do when the five year old girl she looked after and loved told you something like that. She couldn't be sure but she didn't think they had this type of topic labelled in some text book with the answer at the agency.

"Do you think she'll be mad cause I killed her?" For answer, cross reference chapter 2 - 'You're screwed!'

And all of this was said in a Playhouse Princess tent! Buffy couldn't help it, she started to laugh. She laughed because of the tent. She laughed for her own confusion; lots of that in this house for her. But most of all she laughed because it wasn't funny; because she was scared she was meant to have the answers, because she didn't know what else to do.

She has a little girl who just started speaking again after months of self imposed silence; who has just told her that she has killed her mother. To top it all off, she also has to deal with a gorgeous man who happens to be the father of aforementioned killer little girl and widower of the killed! Who as of last night's kiss, she had stepped seriously over the line with and dangerously enough - doesn't care that she has!

_'It's all hopeless'_ She thought in a panicked despair.

And so - she laughed. '_Hey, it's better than crying, right.'_

In all the hysteria, Buffy had failed to notice the ruggedly handsome father she had just been thinking about, sitting on the couch exactly to her right staring at her with a bemused expression on his chiselled face.

"Hello Buffy." He spoke pleasantly with his smooth voice.

"Jesus Christ!" Buffy screamed, her hand flying to her chest as if to prevent her heart from leaping out at the fright she had just gotten.

"Angel" She said in an exasperated voice. "Don't do that!" Buffy told him still holding her chest and panting; which if she was being honest wasn't exactly due to the scare.

"I'm sorry" Angel said with a shit-eating grin that was anything but. "I just got home, I thought you saw me."

"Well I didn't. And just so you know, for next time, to prevent you from scarring me for life; make noise! Slam a door or…yodel."

"Yodel?" Angel questioned slowly; the thought in his head - she truly is the strangest girl.

"Yes, yodelling is an acceptable form of introducing yourself for me." Buffy stated with a blush towards the end - realizing as soon as she said it how ridiculous it sounded but knew if she just broke off and stopped talking, she would of seemed even more retarded than she already was.

Angel couldn't disagree with Buffy's line of thinking more. He couldn't stop the smile that grew on his face at both Buffy's words and the rising blush on her face - if anything they made her more beautiful to him. Nothing was fake about her like the women he was used to. She spoke whatever was on her mind even if it was a little tangent only she herself could decipher any meaning out of.

She was innocent. Maybe that's why Izzie adored her so much - a kindred spirit to her own sweet ways. He had been thinking about her all day.

'_Not to mention fantasizing all night._' he thought with a groan of how tired he had been this morning on his way to work on the little sleep he had gotten.

The day hadn't gone fast enough for him; he found himself staring at the clock like a lovesick teen, daydreaming about his ideal homecoming welcome - fully equipped with Buffy declaring her mutual attraction to him - jumping into his arms and pronounce herself as his!

Extreme he knew, but also… perfect. What he hadn't expected was her to scream at the sight of him; but still, one extreme is better than nothing at all.

But ignoring all that, Angel saw that Buffy was getting even more nervous and fidgety - _'God, how can someone make twiddling their fingers so… ravishing?' _- so he decided to step in and rescue her.

"Well… can't say I've ever yodelled much lately, but I could definitely hum a few notes whenever I walk in a room - just to give you a fair warning." He told her with a smile.

Chuckling to herself at her own neurosis, Buffy dropped her hand from her chest and hopped down the last couple of stairs to walk into the living room. She was still very aware of what had gone on between them the last time they were alone together, but she couldn't find it in herself to care right at this moment. Last night, Angel had managed to take away a lot of her reservations without even knowing it; and now, his sexy 'makes me so hot I'm gonna melt' half smile firmly in place and especially for her - because of her - she couldn't simply label him as just 'a man' and therefore untrustworthy and dangerous. Hell, she couldn't even think of him as her boss anymore, and that's what really scared her because if he's not her boss… what is he to her?

She definitely wouldn't kiss any other employer on the cheek with the same feeling she had gotten last night with Angel.

_'He's definitely not my boss at night when I think of him.'_ She blushed at her own thoughts and quickly glanced at Angel, glad when she saw he was lost in his own thoughts and hadn't witnessed her flushed face.

Sitting on the couch next to Angel, thinking the way she was thinking, Buffy was suddenly unsure of what to do or say. Not only was her mind on a constant repeat of her actions last night, but she now had the predicament of what to tell him about Izzie's little revelation.

Should she tell him? She didn't know. She was positive that Izzie's words were just that - words, spoken by a very scared and confused little girl. The idea of the child even thinking of the topic murder seemed so alien to Buffy she couldn't even imagine it.

But that still didn't solve her problem of what to do about telling Angel. She was pretty sure she had to go the Dr. Phil route and speak to Izzie about it, find out why she thinks she's responsible for her mothers death - and resolve it. But did she do it with the father involved or not?

Normally she would - but that was in a different scenario with a different family, were none of her emotions were involved.

_'Dammit, I knew I had a bad feeling about this job.'_ Thinking back to that first day and the ominous feeling she had gotten walking up the mansion driveway.

One thing she was sure of was that she didn't want to hurt Angel or Isabella. That was the last thing she ever wanted to do, and the thought alone of her causing either one of them any grief hurt her like a physical pain.

Seeing the tumultuous expression on Buffy's face, Angel was instantly worried about his favourite Nanny. He knew she was doing some serious thinking just by looking at the cute little frown on her face. He wondered what had caused her mood to do a complete 180 in the last five minutes - technically she had done a full 360 from when he first came home; first she had been pissed at him; two minutes ago she had been laughing and smiling, and now she had a frown on her face that was fierce enough to rival his own.

"What's wrong?"

The question startled Buffy. It had been a long time since anybody asked her that. Usually, she hid her feelings so well no one could ever tell when something was bothering her. She didn't know what it was about Angel. Whether she relaxed enough in his presence to let her feelings show or Angel could just read her like no one else could.

But it unnerved her.

"Oh, ah- nothing…much," She stammered. She instantly felt guilty for the little white lie and deciding he had a right to know everything where his daughter was concerned, Buffy decided to take the plunge and tell him what had happened earlier with his Izzie.

"Well… there was something." Buffy said haltingly, staring at nothing but how her hand was nervously playing with its partner.

"Hey," Angel spoke softly, moving his hands to cover the nervous fluttering of her fingers. The touch shocked both of them - both the gesture and the shockwaves currently reverberating from their connected hands.

Hoping she didn't notice he had to get the lump out of his throat, Angel quietly continued. "You can tell me. I promise I won't bite." He told her with a smile, hoping his words took the sudden tension out of the surrounding atmosphere that had descended upon them.

'Only if she asks me not to,' His inner demon whispered on the end.

_'Okay Buffy, just tell him his daughter thinks she murdered his wife. Can't be that hard… Ughhh, if I was on the Jerry Springer show!'_ She thought in frustration.

Buffy finally looked away from their still connected fingers, smiling at how they were interlocked with his much larger ones and looking away from those dark eyes that made her ache whenever she looked into them.

_'This would be so much easier if he wasn't touching me. Doesn't he know I can't think straight when he touches me.'_

"I was playing with Izzie earlier… girlie stuff, you know. 'Cause we were bored and I wanted to give her a girlie treat s-so I was bra-" Buffy felt like an idiot. But she couldn't help her rambling. She had a bad feeling about what was gonna happen when she said what she had to say.

Despite how cute it made her look, Angel did actually want to find out what had happened earlier today to make her frown so fiercely when she thought of it; and decidedly interrupted her.

"braiding her hair so she'd fee-"

"Buffy, what happened? You and Izzie were playing and…" An awful feeling gripped his heart suddenly, "Izzie's alright isn't she? Did she hurt herself? Is she okay?" Angel asked frantically standing up and heading towards the stairs to check if a single hair on his daughters head was out of place; all the while berating himself for sitting down here starring at Buffy while the possibility lay his daughter could be hurting upstairs.

Luckily, Buffy was able to catch up to Angel before he stormed into Izzie's room and scared the life out of the sleeping child. Getting over the thrill of touching her boss was hard but she did so quickly to alleviate any fears he had about his daughter.

"Izzie's fine." She told him, pulling Angel back towards the couch to sit beside her once again. 'If you can call a five year old who thinks she murdered her mother fine.' But Buffy wasn't going to voice that thought out loud with the current state Angel had worked himself in to.

Taking a deep breath, Angel let her words soothe his panicked nerves and looked up into those stormy eyes that had kept him in dreams for weeks. "I'm sorry. Lately… I've been a bit…I don't know - nervous when it comes to Izzie. The thought of losing my entire world… Please continue with what you were trying to say."

Smiling a sad smile at him, Buffy told him "It's understandable in your situation. I'm surprised you deal as well as you do."

Angel blushed slightly from the compliment, a sight Buffy was sure very few people had seen and it made her smile at being one of them. His shy disposition persuaded her she could tell him. And so she did.

"I spoke to Izzie earlier, I wanted her to know that she could tell me anything and not be afraid of what I might say. And I just thought that she might be scared to speak to me about her mother be-"

"You spoke to her about Darla." Angel interrupted as soon as the word 'Mother' left Buffy's mouth; the clenching fists at his side a complete opposite of the calm in his voice.

Buffy saw all of this and not understanding where his anger was coming from, she carried on speaking.

"Yeah. I told her she could tell me anything about her mom and that if she wanted, we could go and visit her grave tomo-"

"You had no right!"

The force of Angel's yell was like a physical presence that pushed Buffy back into the couch, she briefly wondered why she wasn't afraid of this angry man but could find no explanation within herself. All she could find were huge amounts of shock.

He had blown up at her!

And not even at the part she had been nervous to tell him about. She was sure as hell glad she hadn't used that little gem as the conversation starter.

She just looked at him, only realizing that he was now standing up when she noticed she had to crane her neck to look into his angry eyes.

"E-excuse me?" She asked, half in outrage that he had just shouted at her the way he had, and half in sheer confusion of the situation. She had literally no idea why he had reacted that way.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm his panting chest, Angel knew that he wouldn't be able to answer her question other than to scream at her, something he really didn't want to do. He realised then that the state of anger he was in usually held no prisoners, but some intrinsic part of him just wasn't willing to let that anger out on Buffy. So he started pacing instead.

Buffy couldn't stand to watch him walk the carpet anymore, he had been doing it for the past five minutes now; turning to face her every few lengths to say something, then shaking his head as he closed his mouth with an angry grunt and resuming his steps. Well enough was enough for Buffy, each step he took was beginning to reverberate through her body like a drum beat - seriously damaging to her nerves and her patience.

"Angel, would you please just…stop!" She finally yelled, squeezing the arms of the couch tightly as she felt the tension of the room push down on her when he stopped to look into her eyes.

"I-I get that your mad, believe me I do, kind of hard not to with the marathon going on in front of me … but what I don't get is why? I just said that that I spoke to Izzie about her mother and you go all postal." She rushed through the last part when she saw Angel tense at the word 'Mother' and put up his hand as if to halt her words. She waited for him to give her some type of explanation.

Breathing harshly through his nose, Angel addressed the landscape portrait over Buffy's right shoulder when he finally started speaking. And it was the last thing she was expecting him to say.

"Buffy, I want to tell you I know how much you have done for Isabella and me in the weeks since you have been working here; honestly there was a moment there when we weren't going to get her back. That she didn't want to come back. But she did, and I owe all of that to you. I also remember how eloquently you stated last time you would do anything you thought was best for Izzie. That's why I'm hoping you understand what I'm about to say next."

Angel finally looked away from the painting to stare at Buffy, letting her feel the full weight of his gaze, his anger now so calm it gave him a hard almost unbreakable exterior; nothing the likes Buffy had seen the past couple of days of the sweet father related to this severe person in front of her, nothing but the deep penetrating stare. Buffy finally understood why he was such a worthy business opponent.

"Don't ever mention her mother to Izzie again. I expect you to respect that the topic of Darla isn't one mentioned freely around here. If you feel like there's is something important happening with Izzie that concerns her mother, I expect you to run it through me first."

"But Angel, that's what I-"

Angel carried on as if she hadn't spoke.

"I know you're wondering why it is the way that it is, but I need for you to know you can't talk about her mother. And as her father, I know that is what's best for her." Angel let out a long breath, signalling both his strain of the conversation and the end of his tirade. He now had a headache pounding right behind his left eye and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his library with an empty whiskey glass in his hand.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed early tonight." As he left the room, he had the presence of mind to turn back to Buffy and speak one last time, "I'm sorry for my outburst, I didn't mean to yell at you." And with that, Buffy was left alone in the living room once again.

_'What the hell is it with me and this living room today!'_ Was all her mind had the energy to think.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Thanks you to everyone who reviewed and yelled at me for not updating, it's the only reason I carry on writing.

JessAngel Would love for my fic to be on your site, just take it. Could you maybe send me a link??? Let me know.

Hope you liked it - next installment coming (hopefully) soon. (I just skipped work an hour ago so will get started now ;D )


End file.
